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Valour

Last post 12-11-2005, 16:51 by tom_g24. 44 replies.
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  •  12-24-2005, 20:43 1385298 in reply to 1345835

    Re: Valour

    When's the next chapter?
  •  12-26-2005, 18:24 1389341 in reply to 1345835

    Re: Valour

    When ever i have time, or can be bothered, to do it. I need to get my head back together, christmas.
    A cooked grenade? You mean fried or boiled?
  •  12-26-2005, 18:48 1389409 in reply to 1345835

    Re: Valour

    me encanta - seems as we are on the spanish front... well ok, maybe we are not but the other guy did so i must follow.
  •  12-26-2005, 20:53 1389787 in reply to 1345835

    Re: Valour

    What does that mean?
    A cooked grenade? You mean fried or boiled?
  •  12-26-2005, 23:26 1390221 in reply to 1345835

    Re: Valour

    I quite like chapter 4, good work tom
  •  01-02-2006, 14:19 1410614 in reply to 1345835

    Re: Valour

    That was a really good chapter, I am noticing one negative thing only. This is your use of 'were, where' You often mix these up and I suggest yuo find out how to use them properly, by Aumanautor or someone. One a more positive note, that was awesome. I now have my 3 fave stories, this one, Flibbles story and Ishrali god.
  •  01-08-2006, 13:41 1432930 in reply to 1345835

    Re: Valour

    he stole my name git
  •  01-08-2006, 13:42 1432931 in reply to 1345835

    Re: Valour

    Calm down, its only a name, and stop bumping loads of threads.
  •  01-09-2006, 9:29 1436446 in reply to 1345835

    Re: Valour

    Who stole whos name?
    A cooked grenade? You mean fried or boiled?
  •  01-09-2006, 15:56 1437107 in reply to 1345835

    Re: Valour

    I really don't know, now lets get on topic and write another chapter!
  •  01-20-2006, 20:54 1480629 in reply to 1345835

    Re: Valour

    ok just to say writing next chapter soon.
    A cooked grenade? You mean fried or boiled?
  •  01-25-2006, 23:15 1502886 in reply to 1345835

    Re: Valour

     Quoting: tom_g24
    ok just to say writing next chapter soon.
    Hey Tom just read your story. It's cool, great. Can I be like a spell-checker? Pwetty Pwease?
  •  01-25-2006, 23:21 1502920 in reply to 1345835

    Re: Valour

     Quoting: phil-the-man
    Hey Tom just read your story. It's cool, great. Can I be like a spell-checker? Pwetty Pwease?
    if you change the avatar we promise you can Paranoid [:Paranoid:] not really, but change it anyway why dont you?
  •  01-25-2006, 23:44 1503041 in reply to 1345835

    Re: Valour

    What's wrong with my avatar?
  •  01-26-2006, 22:01 1506293 in reply to 1345835

    Re: Valour

    it scares me
  •  01-27-2006, 16:45 1508834 in reply to 1345835

    Re: Valour

    what about I watching you's avatar?
  •  01-27-2006, 16:47 1508839 in reply to 1345835

    Re: Valour

     Quoting: Night_vision
    what about I watching you's avatar?
    HEY, I take offense to that..., youre just jelous
    One should not speak unless it improves upon the silence.



  •  01-27-2006, 20:20 1509426 in reply to 1345835

    Re: Valour

    Anyone can teel me about my spelling, my ownly drawback so far is that an oldy is yet to post here Sad [:(] Story should be hear soon, havnt had much time and im still listening to Breakin Benjamin. And i quote: "we run away and make face, we gota laid, we gotta laid, we turn it up, and ride it up, im outa crate!" Well its hear, please everyone! Tell me what you think and were i can improve, please! Chapter 5, Sight’s. Valour was walking around the decks of the boats, the land was just visible as a black land of ash and smoke, were no trees remained, and were there was city which could be seen before if only just, there was stone burnt black littering the ground, no colour or slender of that great place were people would praise in, people would live in, and people would die in. The power and prestige of that great and noble city which once stood on this peaceful island would only be carried in that of the minds of the people who had seen of it, and the memory of the events hear and of its great and meaningful history would only lie in the few that knew it. “Why, why must such things plague me when all the people lie safely in these ships and there are far more important things to think of at this time,” thought Valour for he had been pondering and feeling remorse for the loss of the island and the stunning city which used to lie there. “But, it is a loss, and nothing else has really been lost of much,” thought Valour,” but in which time something has been gained and that is like a plague of lotus as to a field.” Valour had that uneasy feeling again were his hair stood up and he could feel all of his body light up in an uneasy chill, it was similar to when he was trying to go to sleep the night before, just before the that strange dream. Valor tried to keep his mind of it, so instead, he thought of the good times he had had, in that old city. Valour tried to remember the times in the tavern, when they would blindfold the first man drunk and see how long it took him to take the blindfold off. Valour remembered when that drunk had walked outside and all the people and himself were laughing so hard, he could remember laughing even harder when they found him outside the city the next morning, he had bumped into a tree and fallen unconscious with the blindfold still on, Valour and the others new no damage was done, he probably passed out from all the alcohol. Valor remembered all the good times in that old tavern, when some of the men did not believe that gods could not bet drunk, unless they had been pumped full of pure alcohol and bet him all sorts he couldn’t drown 50 pints and not get drunk, Valour did it with ease and let the men keep there betted goods in return for them to do all sorts of forfeits. Valour laughed aloud remembering one of the forfeits, but suddenly Valour had an image of the tavern, in that image he could barley see it through smoke that plastered his vision but through it he saw the tavern, it was ablaze letting out great blazes of heat, which Valour felt. The tavern that, when made had a fine average coloured shade blue roof with deep brown wood which made the outside of the walls, looking like it was a painting with the deepest pastels, with the feeling that all else in the world was like it, tranquil and at peace. Valour remembered that the wood was just a thin bit of wall, coating the outside and inside of the tavern, for the wood inside the layers of wood blazed white and brilliantly, but this building was meant to look natural and dazzling in a different cense which it more then achieved. But now that Valour saw it alight it looked like it was staked with wood inside. Then, the whole tavern seemed to explode from the inside, and great warmth passed over Valour who pressed both hands against his chest, one over the over one, grasping his chest as if he was in the worst pain anyone could be in, and the cold heartless chill that ran down him felt colder then any natural chill. The vision stopped to forum blackness in Valour’s closed eyes, yet Valour could hear children screaming in his ear along with adults crying for help. But that sound was soon overpowered by a blaze accompanied by the sound of things falling and thunder, terribly loud and jagged thunder echoing in his ear, & yet the people calling for hep could still be heard screaming slightly, and it grew louder, and louder until Valour felt like couldn’t hold it, and then the voice appeared in Valour’s ears saying, “Shadow will befall the Earth again, and you will suffer more then any other!” The voice only said it once, and it got louder as it went a long, but all the time it was in a croaky, evil and terrifying voice, Valour couldn’t hold it any longer. He opened his shut eyes and yelled with all his might up into the sky “What ever hell thou should bestow upon me I would gladly take, yet stop teasing me with such visions, come as a daemon, a god, a human, I do not care, but do not show me images that I can not do anything but watch in grave agony, great coward for you prod me with a stick from the safety of bars and leave me no chance to stand, so appear now you treacherous beast, for I know of who you seek and who you are, so appear now Gratiout, for if you wish to see Gammon, you must first defeat me!”
    A cooked grenade? You mean fried or boiled?
  •  01-28-2006, 20:48 1513175 in reply to 1345835

    Re: Valour

    Well? Has anyone read it?
    A cooked grenade? You mean fried or boiled?
  •  02-01-2006, 22:39 1528373 in reply to 1345835

    Re: Valour

    Great chapter. Didn't find any particular spelling mistakes...good job!
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