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Telemnar's Tale

Last post 05-31-2008, 16:23 by Ironlion45. 515 replies.
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  •  10-10-2004, 15:41 838145 in reply to 836063

    Re: Chapter 3

    thx for heeding my warnings about b&w2. I liked this one again, i always like what comes out of people's ideas and imaginations. Also, I FOUND AN ERROR! Big Smile [:D]. I think it's a typo really, because you wrote it correctly the next line. It's situated at the end of the first page, 'piece' that one's supposed to be 'peace' just like the other one Happy [:)]. Second typo, first line of the second page. 'creature less' that's connected -> 'creatureless' Happy [:)]. nice adjustement at TT3 and the extra endline of Demon Wink [;)]
    Bathing in eternal sunlight...

    {Sig Made By SenileSkunk!}
  •  10-10-2004, 17:19 838163 in reply to 836063

    Re: Chapter 3

    Thanks I've corrected it, piece was my fault because I was trying to balance my story and my maths homework at the same time, but creature less was the stupid spell check on my computer again. I thought the demon line just added a little something extra and you'll notice that Tidus has accidentally become a more important character then I intended. I also went for a more original creature idea using a large brown speckled newt. Tidus will appear again later in other chapters along with other minor characters to show whats happening in the world from different views. p.s. sorry about your computer Amaunator, how long till your story is up and running again?
  •  10-10-2004, 20:49 838246 in reply to 836063

    Re: Chapter 3

    maybe not long, i'm using my mom's comp now, while my dad is busy upstairs ridding my comp of unnecessary items. I'll soon have to put all my special stuff in a folder on my D drive.
    Bathing in eternal sunlight...

    {Sig Made By SenileSkunk!}
  •  10-11-2004, 16:07 838521 in reply to 836063

    Re: Chapter 3

    Finally, my post! Sorry to have kept you waiting. It's another Good [Good] chapter, yet try to give a little bit more details, cause I had the feeling the story was going fast. YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO IT, but it could improve your story. Also, watch out with comma's (,), cause I saw a comma somewhere (I can't remember where) which was totally out of place. Still, it was a fine chapter. So keep on writing!
  •  10-11-2004, 18:16 838575 in reply to 836063

    Re: Chapter 3

    Thanks, good point, I got to involved in the action and not enough on DETAIL. A more detailed chapter 5 coming soon.
  •  10-11-2004, 18:34 838578 in reply to 836063

    Re: Chapter 3

    GONGRATS OVERLORD! You have been officially upgraded from junior member to member! Allow me to be the first to shake your hand! *Walks to Overlord and shakes his hand* Big Smile [:D]Sorry, just had to do itBig Smile [:D].
  •  10-11-2004, 18:44 838581 in reply to 836063

    Re: Chapter 3

    Thanks, I wouldn't have noticed if you hadn't pointed it out.
  •  10-12-2004, 17:31 838970 in reply to 836063

    Re: Chapter 3

    you know, if you don't like the 'member' stuff below your name, then you can just change it in your profile.
    Bathing in eternal sunlight...

    {Sig Made By SenileSkunk!}
  •  10-12-2004, 18:44 839002 in reply to 836063

    Re: Chapter 3

    I know, but thanks anyway. Here it is, one of my best chapters yet, with more detail, Chapter 5 I'm not sure what title Chapter 6 will have yet, but for now it will be known as Green Serpent's Venom
  •  10-12-2004, 19:47 839029 in reply to 836063

    Re: Chapter 3

    WOW! GREAT CHAPTER MAN! If the story improves every chapter, like it is now, no-one will read my story anymore! DON'T OVERDO IT! Naah... Just jokingHappy [:)]. But this chapter was VEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERY Good [Good]! I also like the endline of Beardy. You've got real talent my friend! You MUST continue writing, for the sake of the entire planet Eden!Big Smile [:D] Really Overlord, this is one of the first times I've found a story THIS Good [Good] so soon. So I'll wait for your next chapter. Ps: I've noticed you haven't got a sig... You should get one with the 'All shall be protected under the wings of Telemnar' sentence. Cya!
  •  10-12-2004, 20:04 839039 in reply to 836063

    Re: Chapter 3

    congratulations Happy [:)] it was indeed one of your best, i admire your increasing speed at writing, but speed isn't really what we need, if you would have paused a bit more and reread it once or twice then you might not have skipped over stupid errors. Still, it was a very beautifully written piece of your story (and once again, the line at the end was nice too Happy [:)]).
    Bathing in eternal sunlight...

    {Sig Made By SenileSkunk!}
  •  10-12-2004, 20:09 839042 in reply to 836063

    Re: Chapter 3

    Thanks Solar! I really enjoyed writing chapter so it took a little longer then the rest, right now I'm just trying to write a chapter that doesn't have a spelling mistake amaunator can pick up. Now I've got to try and keep this quality of writing up, I've got plenty of ideas and lots more to add to the next chapters. I'll work on a sig. I hope you liked my addition of Ajaka, Green Serpent's Venom will start bringing different views together. I wouldn't worry about losing readers from your thread Solar, I haven't got many, but I write for the fun of it.
  •  10-12-2004, 20:25 839052 in reply to 836063

    Re: Chapter 3

    we all do write for the sake of Good [Good] fun! Nobody's getting paid for it (though it would be sweet Wink [;)]). Don't bother trying to write it spotless and faultless, I really do my best to spot an error Happy [:)] (even in books).
    Bathing in eternal sunlight...

    {Sig Made By SenileSkunk!}
  •  10-13-2004, 3:07 839198 in reply to 836063

    Re: Chapter 3

    awsome chapter figured I should reply seeing as I have beeen reading it it was your best yet I could never write as good as any of you three but if I don't see a story of an evil god by the time I'm done with the musical I'm in (about 1 month) I might just have to give this a shot.
  •  10-13-2004, 11:37 839286 in reply to 836063

    Re: Chapter 3

     Quoting: XDIABLOSX
    awsome chapter figured I should reply seeing as I have beeen reading it it was your best yet I could never write as good as any of you three but if I don't see a story of an evil god by the time I'm done with the musical I'm in (about 1 month) I might just have to give this a shot.
    Nice chapter, didnt really spot many errors. Diablo, I started a story of an evil god, but i just need to....write P.S. I hate school!
  •  10-13-2004, 12:55 839290 in reply to 836063

    Re: Chapter 3

    thats cool i hate school to the only thing it's good for is making freinds and hangin out with them.
  •  10-13-2004, 14:15 839308 in reply to 836063

    Re: Chapter 3

    FINALLY! I CAN POST OVER HERE! I've tried yesterday, this morning and only now I've been able to post! Anyhow I wish to say a few things: Firstly, I don't fear any loss of readers. Anyone who reads my story and likes it will probably continue reading it. And even if many people don't read your story now, that doesn't mean that it will never change. When they see there are many pages they think: 'OH! LOOK HOW MANY PAGES! IT MIGHT BE GOOD! LET'S READ IT!' I had that when too many stories where around here (of which many weren't finished). That was a long, long time ago... But anyhow, If there are many pages they'll be more interested and take a look, and if they like it they read on. You could say you get some 'fame'. If you have written other Good [Good] stories before (like IACOBUS) or were one of the first to write or began the fad (AMAUNATOR), you'll also get some fame. So If you continue writing you'll get A LOT of vieuws and readers. Second, I HATE SCHOOL TOO!!!Big Smile [:D] Third, CATTRAKNOFF! I'm waiting... And finally, fourth, NO-ONE START A STORY ABOUT AN EVIL GOD BEFORE XDIABLOSX DOES! By the way, how can you be certain you're not as Good [Good] in writing like us if you've never done it before? And anyone can improve himself, so I would say you don't say "never" ever againBig Smile [:D]. This was not exactly a short post, wasn't it? Cya!
  •  10-13-2004, 19:12 839352 in reply to 836063

    Re: Chapter 3

    I'm with Solar, Give it a shot, you never know, you might be Good [Good] at it...and if your terrible, you can only get better, right? btw, i've started to work on my story abit, hopefully the next chapter wont be too far off
  •  10-13-2004, 19:40 839356 in reply to 836063

    Re: Chapter 3

    Here it is chapter 6, can't promise it will be as good as the last one, but it fills in some story line. Feedback please
  •  10-13-2004, 20:31 839362 in reply to 836063

    Re: Chapter 3

    I second you about the statement 'school sux!' it's been such a pest to start writing and finish a chapter by the end of the evening, i just have soooo much work Sad [:(] continually. Though it's almost autumn vacation people, expect some new chapters then! Anyway, Good [Good] that you got back some interest in your story cattraknoff (your name is hard to write ya know Wink [;)]). We can still use some extra forces to keep this going. My personaly goal for spurring this forum on (which is my delight to see Solar helping me with) is to get an entire front page active!!!!! It's almost impossible and not very likely soon, but it's a goal, you gotta lay the line high to get something pressing on you Big Smile [:D]. Very nice chapter too Overlord Happy [:)], I really like it. There weren't any real problems Big Smile [:D]D (there's the Good [Good] news and there is the bad news Happy [:)]) Some typo's and one line that appeared very strange, last two lines of the first paragraph (i will use L2,
    Bathing in eternal sunlight...

    {Sig Made By SenileSkunk!}
  •  10-13-2004, 23:03 839408 in reply to 836063

    Re: Chapter 3

    1st great chapter overlord 2nd solar you shouldn't say no one start a story of death and destruction a.k.a. evil before me because as I stated it would before It'll be a while before I have time. and thanks for the vote of confidence in me. 3rd can somone point out a good evil story for me to read because i think i should read one befor I make one because I'm not pure evil. 4th don't call me xdiablosx just diablos finaly thank you and goodnight. bows
  •  10-14-2004, 17:01 839552 in reply to 836063

    Re: Chapter 3

    on reaction to your third, try reading SirJoe's Happy [:)]. your fourth kind of cranks me up Big Smile [:D], Solar himself said that once when someone called him xsolarx Big Smile [:D].
    Bathing in eternal sunlight...

    {Sig Made By SenileSkunk!}
  •  10-15-2004, 19:04 839808 in reply to 836063

    Re: Chapter 3

    I have a signature now! Also chapter 7 is almost finished so it should be posted soon and while I can understand Solar's busy, could you give me some feedback on six already!! Thanks for comments from Diablos, Amaunator and Cattraknoff, I'm glad the number of people reading my story has increased. We now have a strong group of writers posting great stories, YEAH!
  •  10-15-2004, 19:36 839821 in reply to 836063

    Re: Chapter 3

    Heres chapter 7 enjoy, my story attached fine, so I don't know what problem Solar's having. Feedback, enjoy
  •  10-15-2004, 19:55 839824 in reply to 836063

    Re: Chapter 3

    Great one! perfect! There were some errors, but so minor ... (such AS, 2th page, mySELF 2th page). That's quite the worst, both grammar errors. anyway, keep em coming i really love your style of writing, fluent, variating and certainly appealing Happy [:)].
    Bathing in eternal sunlight...

    {Sig Made By SenileSkunk!}
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