Nicolay got another gun and shot his nuts off again, a fountain of blood emerging from his geneitalia.

Guantanamo update - Hamzahman is expelled for moving his hands when they're clearly tied together in a fashion that prevents him from being able to either pick up a gun or shoot at his own nuts. I am only telling you all this because there are UN inspectors on site today, so for the afternoon your ball gags, nose plugs, eye-tape, head bags and gravel-filled boots have been removed from sight and you're all doped up to the gills.

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John Doe is doped up.

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If you can't do the time then don't do the crime. Then again you can just post in here i suppose ->
http://community.lionhead.com/forums/thread/1705961.aspx

Timothy smiles for the inspectors, rivulets of drool pooling on the floor beneath him. "Haa nish peeeepl," Timothy manages to slur before he slumps to the floor in a daze.

Nicolay is free and is able to see for the first time in weeks. But he is doped up and can't shoot his nuts off, bad result.

Terry Wogan attempts to suck on an Inspectors shoe. The Inspector laughs merrily and moves on.

David Blaine became psychic for a split second.

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The only thing worse than beating a dead horse is betting on one.

William's pyromania is set off by the dope and he begins looking for a way to burn something, his eyes find a box of matches poking out an inspectors coat and makes a grab for them.

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Sig by Paimei from the Elite Signature Association.

Fashion update - The inspectors have left. Amnesty international are still picketing the gates but I'm ignoring them and in a few seconds they won't be able to bother you any more. Get a job, lefties! Gags, restraints, sensory deprivation and head-bags are in this season! Doping, matches and Hamzahman are out!

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. . . . . . .

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John Doe rolled over to his back as he could not take lying on his stomach any more.

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If you can't do the time then don't do the crime. Then again you can just post in here i suppose ->
http://community.lionhead.com/forums/thread/1705961.aspx

David spent half an hour doing nothing. Then he spent the following hour contemplating on the nature of nothing, which lead to him to create a series of ingenius psychological tests where he sat doing nothing in hourly intervals. This tired him out, so he took a short 15 minutes break doing nothing.

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The only thing worse than beating a dead horse is betting on one.

William cried into his bag over the loss of his matches and rolled over to sleep only to find he put his back on a sharp stone, he couldn't tell, but he thought it might be bleeding.

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Sig by Paimei from the Elite Signature Association.

. . . . . . .

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. . . . . . . . . . I can't talk because I'm in isolation and blindfolded and stuff, or something.

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I have no idea what I am talking about

Important Announcement Later on today we'll be having the annual Guantanamo Sports Day and Social BBQ. Attendance and participation is mandatory. Events include [list] [*]Sack Race [*]Egg And Spoon race [*]Treasure Hunt [*]Harsh Beatings [*]Pony Rides for the kids [*]Electroshock therapy [*]Miss Guantanamo pageant [*]Conjugal Caravan lucky dip (sedatives are available for spouses on request) [*]Salsa classes [*]Sing-song around the Koran bonfire. [/list] Unfortunately, due to health and safety regulations, you will be required to wear full restraint and sensory deprivation praphanalia, as normal. While this will be quite restrictive and indeed may lead to individuals being unaware of which event(s) they have been entered in to, I'm sure that you will all do your best to uphold the Guantanamo spirit of fun and frolics under pain of death. At 6pm we will be grilling up whole pigs, liquidising them and filling up your feeding tubes so don't fill up on gruel at lunchtime.

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John Doe is excited to take part in such an event. He is looking forward to the salsa classes.

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If you can't do the time then don't do the crime. Then again you can just post in here i suppose ->
http://community.lionhead.com/forums/thread/1705961.aspx

Terry Wogan wet himself.

Terry, what are you still doing here? The war on terror is over. Terror won, that's why we're all running around speaking Terrorese and eating traditional terrorish sausages instead of god-fearingly good burgers. Now away with you, we're turning your cell into a refugee camp to house all of the displaced americans, now that the USA has been converted into a giant pleasure-palace for the emeror of Terroron Prime. They might not all fit but sure we can just kill any of the excess ones, if the bible taught us anything it's that we only really need to save two of them, the rest are surplus to requirements.

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. . . . . . .

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Jeff reflects on the futility of using sensory deprivation gear on blind deaf-mutes with advanced leprosy. OOC : I commend Terry Wogan for realising that in fact the war on Terror goes on and the whole US resettlement thing was a hallucination brought on by a lack of sensory input and more importantly the large amount of drugs we've been putting in the food and water. OOC : For speaking OOC I have just been shot and killed. Regretably this means that no one will be there to sign for the deliveries of food, drink, fuel, clothing or anything you ordered on Amazon to be delivered to your work address because there's no one at home to open the door for the postie.

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Mike has cardiac arrest and dies.... I'm out, this is too boring.

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One should not speak unless it improves upon the silence.

"It's a prison, Mike, what did you expect? Butlins?" Jeff proclaims while his doctors work on bringing him back to life. "Restore full brain functionality and then have his body delivered to the Anal Hijinks suite!"

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John Doe tries to hold his breath to kill himself but finds it to be too hard.

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If you can't do the time then don't do the crime. Then again you can just post in here i suppose ->
http://community.lionhead.com/forums/thread/1705961.aspx

Prisoner X began to moulder a little.

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