Jack Rage - http://movies.lionhead.com/movie/150962
Jack Rage (distant cousin of Max Payne) is a no-nonsense city cop who gets the job done, and he wouldn't let a silly thing like innocent pedestrians stand in his way. He pulls up to an alleyway where the bad guys are conveniently located. Driscal has a side-splitting accent. The man hires some assassin to kill the mayor, but Max *cough* Jack Rage isn't having any of that.
Jack chases the duo to the rooftops where Driscal delivers a terrifying "grrrrrr", giving enough time for the assassin to attack Jack while he's still reeling. Jack kicks him into a dumpster on the streets below and promptly delivers his line "takin' out the trash." Driscal is all like "gotta run!", runs, flips over onto another roof, then says "catch you on the flip side Rage."
Oh but I haven't mentioned the best part. During the car chase, Jack Rage directly causes several crashes and civilian deaths, whilst letting Driscal get away. A fat police chief relays these facts to him, and all Rage has to say is "I was thinking about getting the guy who killed my partner" with a hint of anger. Um, hello! You've killed civilians, you caused thousands of dollars of property damage...
Jack heads to the nearest bar, likely drowning his sorrows because he was suspended, not because he's haunted by all those deaths he caused. He phones his girlfriend (whom looks like a fish). She predictably gets kidnapped straight after hanging up, looking as if she accidently tuned into an episode of Big Brother. Jack goes to her house without realizing what's going on, finds a machine gun on the kitchen counter, then shoots a guy Pulp Fiction style after uttering the words "what's going on around here." Dude, he was unarmed! He could have been the friggin postman for all you know!
Another guy attacks Jack. They both know kung fu of course. Jack tortures the man for the location of his girlfriend. I'm still not clear why Driscal hasn't killed the girl for any reason other than the script told him not to. Jack heads on over and guns down henchmen. A truck turns up so he pulls a bazooka out of his ass. I am not making this up.
The music was mostly well used (even if it was out of The Movies program), except the parts where music volume trounces voiceover volume. Voiceovers themselves range from average to bizarre. Editing was also varied. Some parts being creative (kick in the dumster, car chase, etc) and others (ending knifefight) being unimaginative.
Honestly I'm not sure what to make of this movie. It's either a work of near genius comparable with The Last Action Hero, or the most unintentionally hilarious production since Walker Texas Ranger.
3 Stars
For some reason Birdo clearly has the voice of a Japanese man in this trailer. It's like... eating a cake. You expect the cake to be delicious, but when you bite into it, it sounds like a Japanese man. See what I'm trying to say here?