Well, after a few years following this film about a battle in history that was by and large eventful to say the least, and knowing of a 4 hour 2-parter freely available region free HD from China, John Woo's triumphant return to Chinese cinema comes in the form of Chi bi, Red Cliff.

As a fan of the Dynasty Warriors series of games I read more and more about the battle, the key components, the events that led up to it, it's major participants, and always found it fascinating, and finally a feature length form of the drama that heeded the battle and what happened to sway large numbers into disarray. I know, Dynasty Warriors, hardly accurate, and you're right, but it introduced me to these events more than anything else.

Basic plot line, three kingdoms in China, all under the banner of the Han Dynasty, however the Emperor is being puppeted by the prime minister Cao Cao, who is a heavy warmonger, think the general in any film where the army comes in to sort it all out. Liu Bei leads a small amount of men, trying to protect the innocent from the hard hands of Cao Cao's men, and after being rushed out of towns around the country, they form an alliance with the Sun clan, and it's leader Sun Quan. Cao Cao prepares his armies on land and sea, not very normal with the boats, the army's moral is lowered from seasickness and a typhoid epidemic. Focussing on the Red Cliff to take the Southlands of China, the two armies build up and begin to make stratergies. Cao Cao claiming to have 800,000 men, the allies with only 40,000, outnumbered and outgunned, they fight to win for the guys.

Basic outline of the plot before the film kicks in.
So the film introduces us to the world with an American voice over, completely out of place when text would have sufficed, then begins to lead us in with characters appearing with titles of their names, ranks and jobs. For the most part you're checking out the striking visuals, the wonderful cinematography, the amazing editing, subtly intense at times,t he amazing action sequences, to really notice the characters, heck, one scene has two people discussing the battle overlooking the kingdom without a single close-up, all from far away.

And maybe that's why the film isn't as perfect as we'd have hoped, yes it's an amazing, viceral film, but the characters leave a lot to be desired, you like the guys for sure, but you never really care about them, mortal danger or not, we don't get attached, there's no time, maybe in the extra 1 hour 30 from parts 1 and 2 we'd have got more out of them, but apart from that this film is fine and dandy.

Amazingly epic in numbers and action, a sequence involving an ambush in tortoise formations is simply magnificent and the whole big battle is truly remarkable, some of the best stuff I've witnessed put to film, and whilst the CGI is a little too plasticky for the wooden ships and fleshy people they're supposed to look like, for the most part it's forgivable with the style, the feel and the pacing of the film, yes it's 2 hours 30, but it plays like 1 hour 45. There's little to fault, the mix of epic battles, martial arts fighting and simple dialogue that's subtle enough but not too cliched as well, it's nice to sit down and not be spoon fed another wushu gravity defining but plot missing drama, this has so much more, the simple attributes of seeing from both sides, obviously the film is pro-one side, but there's enough time devoted to both to make the battles and the small moments before the battle engaging, and surprisingly enough some moments funny, very funny.

Whilst I've not seen many John Woo films, this is the best of the small amount I've seen, it's fast, brutal and interesting without tipping over into melodrama or all out action, the human focus though lacking, near the end with all the bodies strewn makes it forgivable.

A near masterpiece you'd be stupid to miss.
9/10

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Last three films seen on the big screen:
Law Abiding Citizen - 5/10
2012 - 5/10
A Serious Man - 6/10

Well, I went to see The Hangover...two or so hours of non-stop, balls-out, ridiculous-as-f--k humor. Its fun as hell, even if the laughs aren't incredibly clever, but the script is enough to keep the audience invested in the jokes...and the story. The cast is great, it feels fresh, boasts a tight soundtrack (Hell, even the ridiculous amount of mainstream radio play hits sound here) and doesn't skimp on the laughs. Definetely worth the price of admission...10/10

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"Censors tend to do what only psychotics do: they confuse reality with illusion." - David Cronenberg

Saw "New in Town," that romantic chick flick starring Renée Zellweger.

 

This is extremely predictable for starters...already knew what's going to happen...plus the stereotype Minnesotan accent...they were obviously copying Fargo... I mean one of the characters' last name is Gunderson...hmmm...funny, same last name of the small town cop in Fargo, don'tcha know? JK Simmons' acting didn't save this one bit.

 

3/10

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So, this is the IMAX-ed edition of Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen here, not the normal one, full IMAX-ed scenes.

And how does it fare?
Well, to be honest the first 45 minutes are great, some nice humour, solid action, bringing back characters and introducing new ones well, in the vein of the original, Shia talk-joke moments are still there, though few and far between, gone completely by the end of the first hour, Megan is purely sexualised once more, more-so than the last one too, Josh Duhamel and Tyrese Gibson are just military people this time, they have no character or point except that they were part of the events of the first one.

It all opens with action in Shanghai, military and autobots running around looking for decepticons, cue big bad one from the trailer, the one that smashes his hands don on the ground for an explosion and smashes through a motorway. In fact a majority of the first trailer is from the opening sequence, which I thought was a idea when watching the sequence, not knowing as much about what is coming.

Of course this turned out to be another bad omen.

So Shia is off to college, he can't say he loves Mikaela because they need something near the end to get them back in each others' arms, and his parents are off to Paris for no reason, they get about 4 scenes before being scooped up by a Decepticon at about one hour 10 mins in, thrown back half an hour before the end for no reason. Cue terrible music for the college sequences, a roommate who is obsessed with alien robots and conspiracy theories, annoying as he is at the start he is dragged into the rest of the film, why? Because evidentially the writers wanted a new funny character on top of Tom Kenny's sweary min-decepticon hostage and the twin Smart car hispanics, gold teeth, odd eyes, always fighting, they can't read, great work Hollywood!

All the robots get nothing to do, The Fallen is nothing except some bad CGI moaning until the end, when he starts fighting in blurry shaky-cam classic style and is easily beaten. Megatron is found and re-energised just to beat up Starscream, thank ness, and do nothing, Optimus doesn't even do anything plot-wise, except fight some baddie robots off (All baddies of course black, hardly subversive still) and then, now, how should I say this without any spoilers, go to a farm for a bit, then brought back to beat the bad guys with the ease no other autobot had, yet they can all be killed instantaneously.

Well, the whole final epic battle is a problem on itself to get to later.

So, the plot, Sam finds a shred of the cube in his jacket, how convenient, and touches it, causing him to get shapes in his head he has to write down. An hour and a half later he finds out what they are, and as always, a robot projects the scene and tells us the plot. Some stuff about a vixen in college wanting Sam, lasts about 20 minutes, happening upon John Turturro in the Kevin Smith Die Hard 4.0 role this time, with more action, a ball joke and the poor guy strips off to a jockstrap, in IMAX close up, erm, not exactly great, nor of course funny in any way.

Jon Voight is no where to be seen this time, a mention of Obama suggests that it's supposed to be set 2 years later and Voight was with Bush, who must have liked Ding Dongs and red socks then.
The voices are great, Hugo, Peter, Frank, Tom, all top jobs, of course a lot don't get much time and are skipped over, which is a dire shame, but it's not like the first where they were ignored for human characters, they were ignored for random action or shots of sand.

In IMAX the forrest fight, sand eater and subsequent pyramid fight were in full screen, though the final battle has three segments so only a third if that is up there, but the change in aspects, like TDK last year, isn't too horrendous. However unfortunately the CGI plays up even more at such a big screen. The first one, though limited in shots, looked amazing, and it's the attention to detail from the first one's small shots that is missed here, overblown so much that the CGI is disappointingly and annoyingly bad, Golden Compass bad, so it'll win the Oscar.

The acting from the humans is minimal to bad, nothing major here, they're only there to service a contract and to make money, there's no real reason any humans are in it with the lack of plot and function for 2 hours 30 of the film, add to that the lack of a conclusion, after the big battle the Linkin Park music starts up again and Optimus speaks out, no time to give much of a finish, in the same way that the whole film forgets to humanise the humans and autobots, they're all bloody robotic.

Now, the final battle. So much is just wrong here. For starters the CGI overload is poorly done and looks awful, the whole point of the final battle seems to be a mid-movie sequence with a final conclusion action segment added on to finish the film, the action is shot so poorly you can't make heads nor tales of the robots, again, and by this time you're so uninvested in the characters you kinda hope The Fallen does destroy the Sun and watch Shia and Megan's smug grins burn off their disintegrating faces.

Thankfully among all the turgid awfulness of the movie, the score is once again fantastic, hummable and far outweighs the boring-ness of the sub-par action on screen.

I mean, there's Baytarded, a kind of dumb-ness level for films that still retain the upbeat fun of the piece with explosions, and then there's retarded, where they forget the audience and just make things explode, and as much as I like explosions, there are too many in comparison to the character development the first one had for the most part. Add to that the complete dark nature the film's tone turns for the run time to make it seem slightly dangerous, eliminating the humour that made the characters so fun to watch in the first one, and from that brilliant epitome of a summer film you get a polished turd with little of interest after a solid 45 minute opening.

5/10 For those first 45 minutes alone.

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Last three films seen on the big screen:
Law Abiding Citizen - 5/10
2012 - 5/10
A Serious Man - 6/10

Sorry for my recent disappearance, an onslaught of exams has meant I have not been to the cinema since seeing Terminator: Salvation (a shockingly movie by the way).

However I have finished Sixth Form and am now bracing myself for the big summer movies. (Looks at the line up). Oh well that looks ***. Well apart from Public Enemies and Harry Potter 6 (not for everyone I confess).

Anyway got free tickets for an advance screening of Bruno next Tuesday.
And the following week for The Proposal (oh joy). Hopefuly more free tickets will come my way.

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I got a free ticket to Bruno, only to find out it was invalid and got a code, but it was at least 12 hours too late to me, so will have to wade it out, just back from a holiday, ha, looks like it's rubbish this weekend, but can't help but want to see Blood, Year One, Sunshine Cleaning and Sister's Keeper, though glad to see Public Enemies getting high marks, feared it was gonna be Mann's Defiance.

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Last three films seen on the big screen:
Law Abiding Citizen - 5/10
2012 - 5/10
A Serious Man - 6/10

Well, I can't wait for Public Enemies...in the meantime, caught up with a couple of flicks...been watching The Sopranos a lot for one, which is truly a masterpiece, I know this is a film thread, but the series is definetely one of television's highest peaks just in terms of storytelling and direction and character...

Terminator Salvation (7/10) - Wasn't expecting too much from this; most of it's script is pieced together by as many explosions, firefights and robots as possible. The performances are pretty damn , espescially from the two leads. Christian Bale might recieve top-billing, but Sam Worthington steals the show; his character is interesting enough and he's a screen presence. Arnold shows up for the party also...well, sorta, he's digitally imposed, so his cameo isn't as grand as it could be, but f--k it, he's welcome enough for the screentime he has. It feels like the most tacked-on of the Terminator films; it contributions to the series' mythology seems almost like an "alternative universe"-type attempt. Yet, it does end up being an enjoyable action flick.

25th Hour (9/10) - Spike Lee's New York film about a drug dealer (Edward Norton) spending the last twenty-four hours of his life as a free man before he goes away for seven years in a state pententiary. Great performances all around, with Lee really accentuating the role New York City has in the film's atmosphere. Made in 2002, he makes sure we KNOW that the film is taking place in a post-9/11 city; one haunting scene has us looking down at Ground Zero from an apartment window as the score strikes up. Its beautifully done; a few problems arise though. You almost wish we had more time to spend with the main character, and trim a few of the moments between the secondary ones. THe final sequence is a bit drawn out, but, for all its worth, its a great film.

Pulp Fiction (10/10) - I saw this for the first time, and its f--king incredible. Thurman, Travolta, Jackson, Rhames, Walken, Willis, Roth...an amazing cast for a tightly-done script that's interesting all the way through. It feels authentic in every sense of the word, a really unique flick. Tarantino really outdoes himself here; the writing and direction is fantastic and its a blast to watch.

The Wrestler (10/10) - So I finally say this and Milk, and I can safely say I feel that Mickey Rourke was robbed of a well-deserved Academy Award for a truly incredible performance. Darren Afronosky supplements this with his direction; the cinematography, editing, writing and directing feel so raw and unblemished that the whole thing almost reminds me of a documentary. Marisa Tomei and Evan Rachel Wood are great in their respective roles...the whole thing is just so damn beautiful.

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"Censors tend to do what only psychotics do: they confuse reality with illusion." - David Cronenberg

Saw some more stuff:

Heaven on Earth (10/10) - Canadian flick about an Indian woman who moves to Canada for an arranged marriage with an Indo-Canadian family; problem is, the family is incredibly abusive and relentless, from the domineering matriarch to her violent, rage-filled husband. By the time the nature of this family sinks in, I was hooked; the characters are painted beautifully by their actors, being multi-layered and not just plain chariactures. Preity Zinta is superb in the lead role, the script incorporating elements of magical realism to juxtapose reality with hallucinations and dreams. Its incredible, definetely worth a watch.

Election [Hak se wui] (6/10) - Quentin Tarantino proclaimed this as "the best film of the year" back in 2005. Fresh from Hong Kong, its a convoulted gangster tale about the Triads of Hong Kong, who elect their leader democratically, with the candidates being the ferocious and hot-headed Big D, and the calmer and traditional Lok. It could be one hell of a crime drama, but it really just seems to devolve into a sequence of chase scenes to recover the all-important "Dragon Baton", while we don't get enough time to have a luck at the main characters. The events that propel the film into its third act (Which is, almost of an epilogue of its own) seem unlikely based on the characters as well. It doesn't have a complicated plot...its just a downright, damn confusing direction. It does have some redeeming factors: acting and a couple of memorable scenes (There's one involving a couple of crates and a huge-ass hill).

Miami Vice (10/10) - I love Michael Mann's films, and this is no exception. It surprises me that Mann didn't grow up down South, because this film seems to really, authentically, fuckin' bleed South Florida in terms of atmosphere and character. Mann always shapes his enviroments into a character of its own, and its no exception in Miami Vice; the city is just as alluring as the cast of the characters and the respective actors who deliver such dynamite performances to portray them. I loved every single second of this film: It comes out blazing and doesn't stop. I mean, damn, I sat through the credits, was so spellbound by the helluva ride Mann takes us through here. Props to Colin Farrell and Jamie Foxx for delivering some tight, explosive performances that flesh out their leads.

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"Censors tend to do what only psychotics do: they confuse reality with illusion." - David Cronenberg

Saw to films today as I return to my local for the first time in 2 weeks.

Blood The Last Vampire first.
Alright, so I know it's an anime or something, but before the film began I knew nothing, except the CGI in the trailer was awful.

So there's this chick who is half human half vampire or something, and someone killed all she loved, so she wants to kill them, to get to the baddie she kills bottom of the barrel vampires for an American team, always in Japan. She goes to an airbase run by the US where some killings have happened, meets an American girl, defends her as two other vampire girls try to kill her, then Colin Salmon turns into some stop motion looking CGI vampire beast and takes the American girl, Saya our hero kills him easily, and then they find the baddie, and big fight with 'shocking' revelation.

Whilst missing the pre-finale monologue due to a cinema problem might seem bad, honestly, I know we missed nothing what so ever, the fight came on, you knew why they fought, because every film needs a climax, and who would win, every film needs an ending, and the idea of killing the hero doesn't work since you never care for the character, and as such the expositional sequences are dull and tedious.

The action is mishandled, jumping between jump scares and hand held cameras, the wire hack and slash nature feels very odd, American meets Asian cinema, and none of them winning, add to that the ridiculous CGI blood, which there is a lot, sphericaly perfect, but distractingly badly handled, and takes a lot away from the violence of the film, what could have been a graphic and shocking film is a stupid and light hearted action film with limited amounts of anything, and not in the Punisher War Zone way.

It feels like if Blade was set in 1970, and lets face it, if you see this film there's only a few reasons, you like the anime, you like the 18 rating with Blood in the film's title, or you have a thing for asian school girls, and who doesn't, but in the end you're left wanting a lot, and it has a feeling of Miho the Movie, without and of the quality of Sin City.
6/10

Then there's Apatow Productions disaster of biblical proportions, Year One, in which Harold Ramis destroys his rep and a talented cast mess up, it's this year's The Love Guru. Jack Black and Michael Cera do the same stuff they always do, same schtick, different day, they are in a village of cave people they go away, meet biblical characters, and then live and be heroes, why, because the film thinks it's funny.

This is a film where Michael Cera pisses into his own mouth, Jack Black eats ***, Kyle Gass plays a eunich, Hank Azaria only gets to say foreskin a lot, and the idiots behind me, see dumb demographic, loved it cos of the useage of the words penis and sh it as punchlines to the, ahem, 'jokes'.
Poorly handled film all round.

It's not funny in the least, the cast is awful, cringeworthy, I found myself avoiding eye contact with the screen, avoid avoid avoid avoid avoid.

Year 1/10

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Last three films seen on the big screen:
Law Abiding Citizen - 5/10
2012 - 5/10
A Serious Man - 6/10

I saw Bruno last night! Here is my review;

Brüno: 9/10

I got free tickets to an exclusive screening of Bruno last night, I went in expecting to find it funny, but the memories of Borat, and the catchphrases that haunted me months after the movie came out still lingered. Yes I loved Borat on first viewing, yes it was shocking, it was original, but it was brilliant. Sadly it became way, way too popular, and sadly the joke wore very thin by the millionth time I had heard many of the lines from the film. When Bruno was first announced I had no interest in the film. The character was , but in my opinion also very one note and lacking the comedic potential that Borat had. Yet I can safely say after watching it, that it is by far one of the funniest movies in ages, narrowly just above The Hangover I would say. Bruno is a hugely risky comedy, and will offend many people. Yet it doesn't seem as offencive as Borat, and as a result possibly funnier. This isn't to say Bruno is tame, far from it. A scene with a talking penis more than sees to that (also the funniest scene I have seen in many a year). But credit has to go to Sacha Baron Cohen, is really is the modern day Peter Sellers. Like Sellers he has perfect comedic timing, has a vast array of characters to play with, and truly seems to inhabit his roles. At no point in this movie did I question that Bruno didn't exist, thats how brilliantly he plays the role. Sure Bruno may grate to some viewers, but he is actually a decent character. The short run time, while questionably too short (possibly the missing Latoya Jackson interview might have made up for this), makes sure the film never outstays its welcome.

Cohen truly is perfect in the movie, and also a very incredibly brave man. While I question whether some scene weren't actually staged, the man does seem to put himself in very risky situations. An interview with a terrorist being frighteningly realistic, and the crowds reaction at the end basically coming across that he could be murdered at any second. But the key to this type of humour is the public's reactions, and some members react absolutely brilliantly. The most horrifying and shocking for me being an interview with parents who want their children in show business. What they are willing to do is absolutely horrifying. I question Paula Abdul's interview not being staged, but it is funny all the same. Bruno's assistant, Lutz, played by Gustaf Hammarsten, is amusing though not as great as Borat's manager. The pair do have some great scene, especially when they're locked together in a rather sexual way, that is pretty damned funny.

Bruno will either drive you into hysterics, as it did me and everyone in the audience. Or will horrify and shock you, yet as I just said it didn't appear to do so in my audience, in fact unlike Borat (where at least 10 people walked), nobody left Bruno at all. The comedy is brilliant, and while it is shocking you cannot help but laugh. It balances wincing with embarrassment with shock humour to perfection. It's an incredibly funny movie with so many memorable lines (that possibly I may hate in a month because of the movies inevitable popularity), and scenes that are just hilarious. My only gripe with it is the length I guess, which is both a blessing and a curse for the movie. It just seems lacking a bit more, ten/fifteen more minutes would have been perfect in my mines just to make the movie flow that bit better. But when a movie is this funny, how can you really criticise it for not falling into many comedies traps? Just running on far too long, yes 40 Year Old Virgin as much as I love you I am looking at you.

Overall Bruno is a must see of this summer, which so far seems to be lacking in many quality movies. Anyway if you want a short, sharp, shock, but a funny shock, of a movie then Bruno is definitely for you. Just don't go with your parents!

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02PARSIM:

Overall Bruno is a must see of this summer... Just don't go with your parents!

Or taste, for that matter.

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"I don't care if the audience watches my movies, long as my producer doesn't lose money."
-Jean-Luc Goddard

My roommate rented Underworld: Rise of the Lycans last night.  Quite possibly the worst movie I've seen this year.

If you saw the first movie and remember the little Lucian flashback to his vampire girlfriend dying you have basically seen the entire story of this movie.  The CGI looks awful, the action seems inconsistent (ie. a single human defeating an entire pack of lycans), and the characters don't seem believable.

Above all else, the worst part of this movie is the ending (spoilers).  The final battle is between Lucian (Lycan/Werewolf) and Viktor (Vampire) in a well.  Lucian breaks away the cover of the well and sunlight comes streaming in, even though the prior and following scene both show that this is taking place at night.  Lucian then proceeds to stabbing Viktor in the head, through the mouth and out the base of his skull, with his sword.  Viktor then falls into the sunlit water below.

The next scene shows Viktor alive on a sailboat heading out to the Ocean, he has no wound in the back of his head and we have no idea why he is suddenly alive or how he got on that boat.  This is followed up with a clip from the first Underworld, showing Kate Beckinsale, with the narrator talking about Kate Beckinsale's character (who isn't even in this movie) and repeating a minor detail from the first movie.

1/10 because I for some reason didn't turn it off before the credits rolled.

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Windows 7 was my idea!

I saw Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs the other night. And was suprised how decent it was.
Sure it's not up to the standard of the original, and nowhere near Pixar's levels of quality. But in comparison to something like Shrek 3, you can still see the huge amounts of quality. Especially with Simon Pegg's Buck being given trully brilliant dialogue and scenes. Hell the cast are perfect again, and Scrat is still amusing.
The 3-d isn't necessary, but works very well still, and overall its a vast improvement on the awful Ice Age 2. I give it a 7/10

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I haven't written much lately, been busy, but will do proper reviews for Blood, Sunshine Cleaning, Ice Age, Moon, Public Enemies and Bruno next week.

Bruno tomorrow though, hope it's enough, only film solid enough in July has been Moon.

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Last three films seen on the big screen:
Law Abiding Citizen - 5/10
2012 - 5/10
A Serious Man - 6/10

So, I finally saw Public Enemies after over a year of anticipation, and damn, did Michael Mann nail it. The cast is utterly superb; Depp, Bale Coiltiard, Crudup...and Stephen Graham's few scenes as Baby Face Nelson are superb. Mann really seems to blend unique film techniques with a period enviroment, and its a really fascinating concoction. It opens with a bang, and the rest of the film is one big, bad, amazing crime ride. Its not Mann's best, but that didn't mean its the perfect film of the summer, the best I've seen thus far of '09. So, yes, a 10/10

And saw some other stuff also:

Man On Fire (9/10) - Tony Scott's 2004 remake (Never saw the original, by the way) is pretty damn and enjoyable; Denzel Washington and Dakota Fanning turn in great performances. The script takes its time developing the relationship and traits of the two, before Scott shifts into full drive and has Washington explode on a revenge spree. Scott's direction here is anything but subtle; its aggressive and a little too much "in your face" at times, but it works.

Closer (10/10) - I was really surprised by this one; Mike Nichol's story about truth and love in London between four characters played by four very, very competent actors is nothing short of beautifully done. Jude Law, Natalie Portman, Clive Owens and Julia Roberts make up the cast...in fact, it would be accurate to say that the four primarily interact with only one-another, with dialogue between other characters reduced to almost the absolute minimum. Each performance is nothing short of near-perfection, with Nichols there to capture every betrayal and discovery. Really worth a watch.

Serpico (10/10) - Sidney Lumet's New York City tale of true-life crusader cop Frank Serpico who waged a private war against police corruption is blistering in many ways. There's Al Pacino's dynamite lead performance, the authentic NYC locales and a well-coiled script to match. At times, Lumet makes the whole affair seem like a documentary through the simply raw acting and cinematography, really capturing a snapshot of NYC's underbelly during the 70's. Brilliant.

Pride & Glory (5/10) - Had a lot of hopes for this one, but in the end, it just sort of flops. Edward Norton and Colin Farrell, who head the cast, are here, but just not at the top of their form. The rest of the cast is the same; the performances aren't bad, but they don't blow anything out of the park. Gavin O'Connor's gritty, bleak NYC in the winter looks fascinating through some nice cinematography, but the script just doesn't flow enough. About twenty-five minutes in, you can feel the gears of the film jam up and just sloooooooow down...which is too bad, since the premise has a lot of potential. Its a sprawling crme-drama dealing with family, but its too bad that we can't get a closer look at each of the characters, so we care more for them.

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"Censors tend to do what only psychotics do: they confuse reality with illusion." - David Cronenberg

Oh boy, here we go.

Sunshine Cleaning, a film I gathered by the poster alone to be some hilarious breezy black comedy about two chicks who accidentally kill someone and have to hide the evidence.

Of course the poster was half there, but my imagination kinda went further, as the film is in actual fact about Amy Adams' single mother needing money to get her kid into a school after being kicked out of his old one, and getting into cleaning crime scenes for big money due to her affair with married high school sweetheart Steve Zahn.

She and her sister Emily Blunt go and do that, whilst the kid is looked after by grandfather Alan Arkin, typecast much?

So there's highs and lows, quirky moments, but overall it's a solid but lacking comedy drama with lots of moments that as a whole need more time to really sink in, and being just about 90 minutes long, it's one of those indie films that gets so close, but bottles it and has a lacklustre sudden ending as opposed to a solid finale that reaches highs the film needs to go to be truly memorable.

The film hasn't got anything new aesthetically, tonally, the acting is as solid as you'd expect from the cast, but it really never breaks through a mediocre bar, and there's nothing especially funny in it. A subplot involving 24's Mary Lynn Rajskub falling in love with Emily Blunt is given no real time, especially with the addition of possible boyfriend Eric Christian Olsen, who has about two scenes barely being there.

Can't complain as it's got enough quirk and heart to keep it going, but little of anything amazing.
8/10

My Sister's Keeper
Nick Cassavetes, best known for girl weepy The Notebook, but also made the surprisingly brilliant Alpha Dog, returns to adapting crying books for another delve into making girls cry, I say girls cos in the screen I was in, I was the only one who should at least have a Y chromosome.

Basic plot is Abigail Breslin is a young girl who was created artificially to be able to give up body parts and blood for her sister, who has cancer, happy times, and she wants to be allowed to be in control of her body medically, so hires Alec Baldwin's lawyer. Mother Cameron Diaz shouts and screams at her a lot, and then cries all the time, while her sister numbingly monotones through voice overs, talking and every other scene she is until finally cancer kills her, two hours later than is acceptable.

Add to that the elder brother is a loner, gasp, and father is sitting on the fence, nothing interesting here.

No, the only moments that are any involve the court case, which also includes the brilliant Joan Cusack as a crying judge who's daughter was run over half a year ago, so knows daughter loss pain, see, get it, she's empathetic.

Speaking of pathetic, a scene near the end, where the family rejoin to go to the beach one last time, is made up of complete weepiness, only the whole film's problem is it's not about here are the characters, this is who they are, it's sad, yeah? No, it's HERE ARE THE CHARACTERS, SHE'S DYING, CRY!
And the audience did, they f****ng let go and cried, at some shitty indie music, blurry beach images and a bald girl smiling and cuddling to daddy. Cliche ridden cack and these gals ate it up like it was the best meal in years.

I just don't understand, I connected only to Abigail Breslin's character, who was sweet, fun and interesting, the best part of the film with her struggles, and Diaz was dull, if an English language version of Penelope Cruz's Oscar winning shouting and crying acting talent was given a name, it'd be The Diaz.

Just bad
5/10

Ice Age 3: Dawn Of The Dinosaurs
The Dawn, even though in Ice Age 3, the dinosaurs had been extinct, a point they make many times, it's still just starting for them, unless dinosaurs are nocturnal in this metaphor for lifespan.

So when we last left our intrepid pre-historic heroes they were... Erm. I can't finish that sentence. I only made it through 3/4 of the first one, and never bothered with number 2, it was too cutesy, not enough comedy, though Scrat's Looney Tunes style antics were a highlight, and the added 3-D and boredom drew me to see this new one.

So, the basic premise, in this KIDS film, is conventional 3rd film antics, i.e. childbirth is coming, yep, a kids film about parents preparing for kids. So the mammoths, incredibly poorly voiced by Queen Latifah, who's vocals seem too serious for anything, and gives the horrible line as she rids a Brontosaurs neck "Yabbadabbadoo" to which Ray Romano's mammoth replies "Lets not ever Yabbadabbadoo that again" I *** you not, Honest To Blog bad!

Dennis Leary is the sabretooth tiger who wants to do stuff on his own, then doesn't, has about 5 minutes to do anything, and spends most of it with a funny gazelle cockily voiced by uber-funny man Bill Hader.

2 new characters I'm guessing sprang up in the sequel are Weasels or something who make jock style jokes and add nothing and detract a lot, voiced by the awesome Josh Peck and Seann William Scott, two great talents being just dire.

Hell, even Scrat suffers with a love story that's not funny nor interesting.
Add on Simon Pegg's boringly over the top insane weasel Buck who tells tall tales and helps the herd find the one saving grace of this picture.
Sid.

John Leguizamo, last seen in the Mark Wahlberg Talks To Plants film Boogi.... Erm, The Happening. What Happened? Nothing.
I never cared for the series, but I caught Surviving Sid on the Horton Hear's A Who Blu-Ray expecting some poor unfunny kids cheery cheese, and laughed an awful lot, he's a fool that you know will fail, but the way he's done is perfect, so loveable and idiotic you just know he's too innocent to comprehend the situations he gets himself into, this time wanting to be a parent too, finds 3 eggs and nurtures them, though when odd coloured T-Rex mama comes round and drags them all off, the quest begins.

It's all cliched, and almost all awful, but Sid's brilliance really does add this film a boost, and the 3-D is spectacular, not Monsters Vs Aliens , but better than Coraline, Bolt or Up. A scene involving hte eggs, a piece of wood like a bobsled and Sid is just marvellous, and really draws you in.

The graphics are impeccable, cartoony in a great way, and have really improved to a ridiculous amount that it's just stunning.

I wouldn't buy it unless it's cheap, but it's fun enough, and I'm sure kids love the dumbness of it all, I think highly of the as you can tell.
7/10

The much anticipated summer flick of choice now, Public Enemies, a film by Mr. Mann, director of such greats as Heat, Collateral and Miami Vice, a film that swayed me from hate to love within 15 minutes of it's hard to follow intricately brilliant action drama.

Public Enemies is much the same in that the dialogue holds the key, but you have to listen carefully, but I mean really carefully this time, as the only things consistent in this film are the odd score choices and the gun sound levels, the dialogue is impossible to hear at some points and crystal clear in others.

The film is about a few months with John Dillinger, or maybe even weeks, leading up to his death by Patrick Bateman, he really hated those business cards. So Johnny Depp acts charismatic and fun loving and does some bank raids and falls in love, whilst Melvin Purvis trashes lights, runs around and shouts for answers.

The only problem is the film is a hollow shell.
You never once care about what happens to anyone, we never find much out, are invited in or really feel highs and lows of the events, the bank robberies are a disappointing bore, the shootouts while trade-markedly loud, miss a lot of humanity and aren't interesting, and it's runtime is 30 minutes too long for nothing to actually happen.

The HD cameras with a handheld feel is odd, like a docu-drama set in the '30's, and whilst it looks extraordinary, it feels boring and sluggish, trying to set up the period subtly doesn't work, and when they go a bit in your face with newsreels and radio news it feels a little embarrassing.

Whilst it looks and sounds alright and the acting is solid, Public Enemies offers absolutely nothing and should really be ignored, clearly when he works with real people Mr. Mann can't get into their minds like he does fictional creations.
6/10

Moon
Alright press, we get it, Director Duncan Jones is the son of David Bowie, get over it, he's not gone out and made his name through his father, no, he's done it by being a genuine talent.

Moon is about Sam Rockwell, who plays Sam, a man working on the other side of the moon for "Lunar Industries" a company who create energy using Helium 3 from the Moon to power the Earth. He and his robot chum GERTY, Kevin Spacey, do their work and retain sanity, until he has a crash on a Lunar Rover and wakes up back to normal, wondering what happened to the rover.

He's not allowed out until he's deemed medically fine, but sneaks out and gets to the crash site only to find a body in there. Him.

From there on in it descends from breezy special effects drama to a twisting turning psychological thriller in space with two of the same person trying to figure out what is going on, and it skips over the cliches, they're not versions of one another, the computer is bad, instead of trite easy moments it jumps from a slow burning film that's not too fascinating into a slowly meandering into oblivion web that you get hooked into and can't really figure it all out until way past the credits.

For a $5 million budget they certainly got a lot out of it, the sets are authentic and have a nostalgic feeling going back to 2001, Alien and the like, the proper kinds of sci-fi, slightly futuristic but almost possible, the moon itself looks amazing, and whilst there's not much with gravity issues, it's not a problem. The music by Clint Mansell is one of the first of the year that come the end I was tapping toes to, I simply must find the score, it's haunting, epic, subtle and at it's high points loud and fun.

For such a small budget it is a beautiful film, breathtaking in fact, with just so much smart and fun dialogue, great Sam and Sam interactions, a Table Tennis scene explained "Howdeydodat" by Mr. Jones after the film is impeccable, and overall this is the kind of filmt he summer needs. A rock solid fun, interesting, tense, dark well made film that's also a smart adult Science Fiction like the old days before I was born.

Brilliant.
10/10

Bruno
So, Sacha Baren Cohen, 'king of comedy', returns to the big screen almost 3 years after Borat made everyone gasp for air in the cinema time and time again, critics loved it, audiences loved it, it even got an Oscar nomination. Now with the final character from his Ali G repertoire, gay fashion show host Bruno from Austria, going to America again, Sacha will find fewer fans.

I personally laughed at Borat, but never felt the quality that everyone else did, maybe the years of enjoying the TV stuff made me hope it'd be more like that, and I was disappointed, especially in the staged stuff and unnecessary ending that's too un-documentary-like. Add to that everyone doing the catchphrases and it's a painful experience to watch now.

Bruno I never really liked, but I hoped it'd be so and so big everyone would imitate him, suddenly thousands of Essex Lads revert from "I ain't a ***" to "Oh vassup! Zat is incrediblech"
Alas no.

The fears of it being dire have been confirmed, for an 80 minute runtime the film felt about 1 hour 55 minutes long, and most of the first half of the film is all staged plot points, with an annoying character you can't like because he's never vulnerable enough, well, in one scene when his baby is taken away it's a nice dark moment, but nothing more than that, so we can't care about this senseless boob with nothing going on up here. (points to head)

So the basic premise is this, breathes in to say the whole long story, Austrian overtly gay correspondent Bruno loses his job in a screw up at Milan fashion week, goes to America to become famous, tries to act, tries to host a show, tries to bring peace to the middle east, tries to be charitable, ends up trying to be straight, falls in love with assistant.
And in all that they need some humour, but for it's runtime there's so much downtime between the set-pieces and jokes it's devastating, and many real moments feel too staged, including a moment where he refers to a cop as Paul Blart, a reference that wouldn't be made until after shooting had ended, thus ADR-ed later, destroying all chances of reality by too much post.

The real stuff ranges from the hysterical - A test audience watches a Bruno show where penises talk and swing and he dances in his undies, then he comes in and they aren't happy - to downright dull - a hunting party where a slight whiff of people annoyed by a gay man wanting to sleep near them naked, understandable really in those situations.

The ending sequence where Elton John, Chris Martin, Sting, Bono and Snoop Dogg record a charity song with Bruno isn't funny or interesting, they get the joke and are in on it, and is a tiresome extra 2 minutes on the runtime.

The worst thing is this film has no real agenda. Borat looked at racism in America through the eyes of a sweet foreign journalist, instead of hitting homophobia it's just one man trying to make homophobia, it's not smart and worst of all it's not funny.

A blinding bore, disappointment, and only one real "OH wow" moment, featuring a 'real terrorist', and he only clenches his fist and tells Bruno to get out.
5/10

That's me done until July 31st, before then Watchmen HD US Director's Cut, so will report on that.
Also got my Movie-Con II ticket, so that's August, nothing confirmed yet, fingers crossed on Avatar.

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Last three films seen on the big screen:
Law Abiding Citizen - 5/10
2012 - 5/10
A Serious Man - 6/10

Now with a cup of tea, a smug smile and a satisfied sigh I have just finished the Watchmen DC on Blu, image was hit and miss for a bit, lots of grain in some areas of the screen, but made itself known as awesome by the end, the audio is INCREDIBLE! and the additions are mostly perfect. Hollis' scene, Dan beating on a knot-head down at Happy Harry's, a little more violence for no measure, but it works, and feels more complete, a touch more Bernie and Bernie too.

Man, this is the best we'll get.

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Last three films seen on the big screen:
Law Abiding Citizen - 5/10
2012 - 5/10
A Serious Man - 6/10

Well, how goes that line about madness?

Madness is to repeat the same over and over and expect a different outcome?

Pretty much describes me when it comes to movies in which Téa Leoni stars, I always watch them, and I always expect them to be , and they never are. Same now happened with Ghost Town which is half drama and half bore (the greater half makes up the latter), it reminds strongly of Heart and Souls (the '93 comedy with Robert Downey jr.) sans humour. Not a movie I would recommend to watch unless you do really have no other use for that one and a half hour.

And yet I sure will watch Manure soon as I get my fingers on it, already knowing that that movie can only live up to it's title.

 

A movie I can recommend despite being quite predictable is the British horror movie The Broken. Which is *Spoiler* a much better version of Invasion of the Body Snatchers than Invasion was *Spoiler*. Loved it, has a few lengths and the flashback sequences make it feel repetitive but it also has same quaint scare moments.

 

Dag nabbit, sounds like my expectations for Public Enemies are way too high:

http://starletshowcase.blogspot.com/2009/07/my-very-first-branka-katic-movie.html

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"I don't care if the audience watches my movies, long as my producer doesn't lose money."
-Jean-Luc Goddard

Well, I caught a showing of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince a couple of nights ago, and just have to say that it was...brilliant. It really exceeded all my expectations, with director David Yates (Whose Order of the Phoenix rendition was pretty damn terrible in my mind) shaping it into the darkest and greatest installment into the series yet. The script is significantly re-worked and streamlined from the book (It still clocks in at a hefty 2 and a half hours though), with the superb score and some beautiful cinematography complementing it all the way. Hell, it feels like a full-blown epic.

The cast really pulls everything into overtime; Radcliffe, Grint and Watson give their best performances of the series, with Gambon, Rickman and the others really fleshing out their characters. The two biggest and explosive performances come from Tom Felton (Playing Malfoy) and Helena Bonaham Carter (As Bellatrix Lestrange). Felton finally gives depth to his character, really using every second of his screentime to bring together a conflicted and lost individual. Carter screams madness as Lestrange, and she pulls it off BEAUTIFULLY. I mean, damn, this was well-worth watching, I'd be happy to shell out for another ticket. 9/10

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"Censors tend to do what only psychotics do: they confuse reality with illusion." - David Cronenberg

DarthDirector:

Terminator Salvation (7/10) - Wasn't expecting too much from this; most of it's script is pieced together by as many explosions, firefights and robots as possible. The performances are pretty damn , espescially from the two leads. Christian Bale might recieve top-billing, but Sam Worthington steals the show; his character is interesting enough and he's a screen presence.

I though Christian Bales acting in this movie was bland, Maybe he was trying to hard or not hard enough but his acting was just so boring that it was one of the things that ruined the film for me. Sm Worthington however I was Impressed, Bale needs to play a different type of character.

I took my neice to see Ice Age 3 the other day, I found the film enjoyable, it wasnt my type of movie but I found it suprisingly hillarious, The weasel thingy was the best character by far, Sid coming second place.

A movie I watched other day on the telly wasnt bad, London to Brighton I think it was called, The acting was all there and the feeling of the film was distubingly realistic, the entire film was very disturbing, The story isnt brilliant, Prostitute goes on the run with 11 year old with pimp on hot presuit, not exactly original, but this flaw is made up for by the acting, and the way the story was told. Not a film that I would ever buy but it was a little flick that I enjoyed.

EthanRunt:

Now with a cup of tea, a smug smile and a satisfied sigh I have just finished the Watchmen DC on Blu, image was hit and miss for a bit, lots of grain in some areas of the screen, but made itself known as awesome by the end, the audio is INCREDIBLE! and the additions are mostly perfect. Hollis' scene, Dan beating on a knot-head down at Happy Harry's, a little more violence for no measure, but it works, and feels more complete, a touch more Bernie and Bernie too. Man, this is the best we'll get.

I enjoyed the New the special edition version of watchmen, The only thing that let the entire movie down for me was Silk Specter, The just tried too hard to make her like the tuff girl and it just felt forced, The added scenes of her didnt really do much for it and could have been done without, it also contradicts it self at a point in the movie.

<See below for spoiler>

She goes back to the rockifellar millitary base and is told that they've found Dr Manhatton on mars, yet later on in the film were she meets him after rescuing Rorchac she says to him " The TV said you were on mars".

 

<Spoiler above>

I dont see why they always have to do this when they have a female role, make her into the tuff girl, I mean its either the tuff as nails I dont take no bullshit man hating femanist type female or its the damsel in distress with the same ethics and intelligents as a Blonde from Essex, carnt we have any middleground?? I think this all stems from the fact that they've all tried to massproduce Hellen Ripley from Aliens, but they never seem to get it right, Ripley was the middle ground in my opinion that they have failed to reach in most movies.

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"IrishMorn"
If Adon and Sagat step in....ah, what the hell, I'll get drunk and join in on that one.

Alright.
I went to see Potter.
Because The Hangover screening was cancelled.
Since Men In Black in '97 I've seen many hundreds of films and have never walked out on them, not Disaster Movie, not The Happening, not The Spirit, not 10,00 B.C.
Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince, a 'dark' film, was essentially a romantic comedy with bad actors, worse jokes, and the whole 'dark' aspect was because it was poorly lit.
40 minutes in I looked around, threw on my coat and walked out, never looked back.

That is all.

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Last three films seen on the big screen:
Law Abiding Citizen - 5/10
2012 - 5/10
A Serious Man - 6/10

Saw Children of Men last night. Blew my mind. Way more intense and real than Saving Private Ryan. Incredible movie.

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^ Check what Beck's up to now.

TMUnderground

02PARSIM:

I saw Bruno last night! Here is my review;

Brüno: 9/10

I got free tickets to an exclusive screening of Bruno last night, I went in expecting to find it funny, but the memories of Borat, and the catchphrases that haunted me months after the movie came out still lingered. Yes I loved Borat on first viewing, yes it was shocking, it was original, but it was brilliant. Sadly it became way, way too popular, and sadly the joke wore very thin by the millionth time I had heard many of the lines from the film. When Bruno was first announced I had no interest in the film. The character was , but in my opinion also very one note and lacking the comedic potential that Borat had. Yet I can safely say after watching it, that it is by far one of the funniest movies in ages, narrowly just above The Hangover I would say. Bruno is a hugely risky comedy, and will offend many people. Yet it doesn't seem as offencive as Borat, and as a result possibly funnier. This isn't to say Bruno is tame, far from it. A scene with a talking penis more than sees to that (also the funniest scene I have seen in many a year). But credit has to go to Sacha Baron Cohen, is really is the modern day Peter Sellers. Like Sellers he has perfect comedic timing, has a vast array of characters to play with, and truly seems to inhabit his roles. At no point in this movie did I question that Bruno didn't exist, thats how brilliantly he plays the role. Sure Bruno may grate to some viewers, but he is actually a decent character. The short run time, while questionably too short (possibly the missing Latoya Jackson interview might have made up for this), makes sure the film never outstays its welcome.

Cohen truly is perfect in the movie, and also a very incredibly brave man. While I question whether some scene weren't actually staged, the man does seem to put himself in very risky situations. An interview with a terrorist being frighteningly realistic, and the crowds reaction at the end basically coming across that he could be murdered at any second. But the key to this type of humour is the public's reactions, and some members react absolutely brilliantly. The most horrifying and shocking for me being an interview with parents who want their children in show business. What they are willing to do is absolutely horrifying. I question Paula Abdul's interview not being staged, but it is funny all the same. Bruno's assistant, Lutz, played by Gustaf Hammarsten, is amusing though not as great as Borat's manager. The pair do have some great scene, especially when they're locked together in a rather sexual way, that is pretty damned funny.

Bruno will either drive you into hysterics, as it did me and everyone in the audience. Or will horrify and shock you, yet as I just said it didn't appear to do so in my audience, in fact unlike Borat (where at least 10 people walked), nobody left Bruno at all. The comedy is brilliant, and while it is shocking you cannot help but laugh. It balances wincing with embarrassment with shock humour to perfection. It's an incredibly funny movie with so many memorable lines (that possibly I may hate in a month because of the movies inevitable popularity), and scenes that are just hilarious. My only gripe with it is the length I guess, which is both a blessing and a curse for the movie. It just seems lacking a bit more, ten/fifteen more minutes would have been perfect in my mines just to make the movie flow that bit better. But when a movie is this funny, how can you really criticise it for not falling into many comedies traps? Just running on far too long, yes 40 Year Old Virgin as much as I love you I am looking at you.

Overall Bruno is a must see of this summer, which so far seems to be lacking in many quality movies. Anyway if you want a short, sharp, shock, but a funny shock, of a movie then Bruno is definitely for you. Just don't go with your parents!

This reminds me eerily of the IGN review

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Who has a Signature nowadays?

Watched 88 minuites last night, worst £5 I ever spent, Al Pacino couldnt even save this *** excuse for a movie.

1/10

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"IrishMorn"
If Adon and Sagat step in....ah, what the hell, I'll get drunk and join in on that one.

So, Ryan Reynolds eh? Van Wilder turned to rom coms quickly, then decided to make himself a massive star by signing on to two, count them, two comic book film projects, after the disastrous Deadpool re-imagining in the Burton sense of the word in Wolverine, he's gonna be Deadpool properly in a few years time, meaning The Proposal will be his last romantic comedy until his career subsides, though he should just stick with frat boy comedies, him in The Hangover would have been 100000x better than Bradley Cooper.

Sandra Bullock is a horrible actress, I mean, annoying, bad and thinks she's far prettier than she could ever be, I swear she's got Miss Piggy's nose. I mean, when she fell down he stairs in Crash I cheered. She survived which was annoying, but she fell down stairs, take what you can in this life. I avoided the film where she finds a magic mailbox and sends horny letters to Ted "Whoah" Anderson Constantine Utah, who takes many red pills to forget the words. I saw Speed because, well, Dennis Hopper gets decapitated and Ted "Whoah" Anderson Constantine Utah drives a bus fast with a gun. Why would you miss that?

But Bullock is a bad actress, she has little comedy knowledge, isn't entertaining and just comes off like a preening ***.

So The Proposal, a film where contrived situation rom com actress Bullock is gonna be deported to Canada, pretends Reynolds' assistant is getting married to her, settling the issue, but a government agent guy thinks it's all a big ruse, so follows them as they visit his family in Alaska, where lo-and-behold he's not just some poor kid moved to the big city, but has a massive family estate and practically owns their home town.

It's like Chuck and Larry in some of that sense, faked couple, man sniffing around, although here it's not as stupid, annoying, and forgetting the quality drama of some scenes for madcap moments. There are some mad moments, and they don't fit, such as Bullock dancing around a fire with mad 90 year old grandmother singing a shitty rap song as the song plays, comedy is missing here, as is a sequence where Bullock, her again, picks up a dog and tries to barter an Eagle to take the dog not her phone. Yeah.

Fortunately most of those moments are cut by Reynolds' sarcastic quips and charm, making you genuinely laugh and understand the situation.
Some times though the film falls too far into a pre-established genre. They hate each other, inexplicably learn to love each other doesn't really work since she's about 45 and he's only early 30's, and they don't have much in common. The family has issues, all resolved easily, when 90 year old grandmother has a heart attack, but it's a fake one that gets the characters to reconnect, oh how wonderful...ly stupid.

Fortunately even a stupid strip dance from The Office's Oscar aren't too annoying when you have Reynolds' enjoyable nature easing the film along, and even though it relies a lot on him, he makes it effortless.

Malin Akerman has a thankless role as an ex of Reynolds who says he's a man once, and that's it, that's all she's there for, nothing else, which is odd since she's third on the credits. The music also has a similar issue, it's there for one scene, and then in the background the rest of the time reminding you that it's a silly scene with brass beats. Generic indeed.

The camerawork, however, is far superior, shots of the couple are often distanced, and in close up the director has moving cameras going in opposite directions for each actor, subtle yet clever.

Even though at points it seems like it's going to transcend the Rom-Com genre like Definitely, Maybe did, it ultimately wants girls to laugh at Bullock being a stuck up *** letting loose, which is the film's weakest points, when Reynolds saves it with being effortlessly awesome. It's a cheap showing kinda flick.

7/10

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Last three films seen on the big screen:
Law Abiding Citizen - 5/10
2012 - 5/10
A Serious Man - 6/10