This is my first attempt at writing a B&W2 story, feel free to comment and criticize as this will only help improve my story. The next post should be my story

Here it is then my first chapter, enjoy Telemnar

then i wish you good luck and have fun being a respected and qualified addition to our own forum , godspeed!

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Bathing in eternal sunlight...

{Sig Made By SenileSkunk!}

Thanks! You and Solar are writing really good stories at the moment and I hope mine makes a good edition. Here it is then, posting its difficult, so its attached here. Enjoy! Chapter 2: New Eden will be posted soon, if you want to be included, just post your god details here

Nice! I like it already! But I noticed one thing: 'That day was so vivid; his town burning so fiercely that even the combined power of me and my creature couldn

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I like it too! but don't mind other people's work (or at least, in the way of comparization) we all have our good and bad side, so you might have a better style to express certain situations we could not ... and vice versa. Skill is all relative.) I saw one little error. When you blasted out of the mountain you said 'righ' where it should have rather been 'light' i guess ... but it's just a tiny nothing on the scale of it all .

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Bathing in eternal sunlight...

{Sig Made By SenileSkunk!}

Thanks guys I really appreciate your support and you pointing out my mistakes, I've corrected it and chapter 2 will be posted soon. Chapter 1 was a draft, chapter is going to be much better. "All shall be protected under the Wings of Telemnar" (I don't know why I called myself OVERLORDX, I'm supposed to be a good god, but I guess there is a little evil in all of us)

Here it is then the second chapter, I hope you enjoy it. The next one will be Chapter 3:Return of Old Friends If anyone wants to be in it there's plenty of room in the story, just post your god details. Hope my buddies Amaunator and Solar enjoy it.

i saw a little typo (or was it a word-corrector mistake ): 'barley' must have been barely. So far ever so ! I'd like you to go to the b&w2 forum and present yourself on the community thread though, we know zip about you it's handy for me and Solar cos we're both Dutch, and chat on msn (sidenote ) but we don't know where you live, your native tongue, how old you are, ... that kind of stuff. P.S: i like how you have that little line at the end, it defines your godly being a bit.

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Bathing in eternal sunlight...

{Sig Made By SenileSkunk!}

Thanks Amaunator that was a mistake by the spell check, it seems to cause more trouble then it provides help. I don't really know how to 'present' myself on the community thread, but I edited my profile, so it's got some more details. I'm English, so I naturally speak english.

Thanks Amaunator that was a mistake by the spell check, it seems to cause more trouble then it provides help. I don't really know how to 'present' myself on the community thread, but I edited my profile, so it's got some more details. I'm English, so I naturally speak english. Did you like my bit about the Aztecs and can you guess what was happening to their leaders?

kinda, i guess, they were getting sacrificed maybe?

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Bathing in eternal sunlight...

{Sig Made By SenileSkunk!}

Actually they were being fed to his creature

Nice chapter, but a few spelling mistakes. Still, it's nothing serious. Keep on writing!

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damn! should have known Keep writing anyway! we already have too much dead-end stories. We need some to last.

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Bathing in eternal sunlight...

{Sig Made By SenileSkunk!}

I don't intend to give up yet, as long as you and Solar keep writing I will too, I've just had more schoolwork recently so I've had to slow my wriitng down. Chap 3 will be posted by the end of today

Here you go then, to keep up my story here is Chapter 3 Chapter 4:Revenge, Guy Style should be posted by the end of the weekend. Give me some feedback soon guys thanks in advance for any more spelling mistakes you point out. "All shall be protected under the Wings of Telmnar"

GREAT CHAPTER! I found it a little odd that Beardy was so agressive towards Beardy though... Something I really liked was the tidalwave, accidently helping Tidus. It takes a lot to make me laugh, but this one easily did it. Well done! So... Right now there are three active stories... It isn't much, but it's better than 2 stories. So PLEASE keep on wiritng!

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Yay, another chapter some comments though: there are no immediate errors in your vocab or grammar, but there are some flaws against the new b&w2 principles. For instance, you don't have an ordinary temple anymore. Each city has it's own temple devoted to your cause. It's a building in the middle of your village where your people come and pray for you, so it ask for both a village centre, your temple and the building of prayer. Of course, the temple in your first village can(will?) always be the largest and grandest of them all. Second, you don't have food or wood miracles (nor will there be an ore miracle), for a simple reason really. People always complained about b&w1 that they had to play the maid for their people, fetching their food, harvesting their wood or doing miracles for it. Now your people have evolved and are becoming increasinly handy and skilled in use of their skills and arts. Some will have a better agricultural evolution, while others may have better saws to chop down trees. They'll automatically replant trees they sow too. I know that it might be stupid now, since you already used some of it in the story, but try to readjust it in your original and carry on with these fairly simple guidelines. There is only that to limit you in your story, nothing else. edit: found an error while rereading the last line of page 2 : 'emblem on the sign that hang over the door' that's supposed to be 'hung'

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Bathing in eternal sunlight...

{Sig Made By SenileSkunk!}

Fair enough points, I'll have to change a few details to fit with black and white two, but I just worked with what I could think of. The chance of a human form isn't likely either but its a good feature in Solar's story. Thanks for the compliment Solar, I'm making a theme of seeing how what I do effects other people in different parts of the world. Chapter four involves facing down another Aztec attack in my new village. (Have you heard that BW2 is supposed to be the second in a 'proposed' five, what the heck would BW5 be like)

 Quoting: OVERLORDX

Fair enough points, I'll have to change a few details to fit with black and white two, but I just worked with what I could think of. The chance of a human form isn't likely either but its a good feature in Solar's story. Thanks for the compliment Solar, I'm making a theme of seeing how what I do effects other people in different parts of the world. Chapter four involves facing down another Aztec attack in my new village. (Have you heard that BW2 is supposed to be the second in a 'proposed' five, what the heck would BW5 be like)

Nice chapter my guess would be each bw would advance farther into time, IE: BW3 would be dark ages, BW4 would be medieval/reinaissance, BW5 would be modern?

I really appreciate your guys help, you may not be bothered but if you want here is the corrected and only minorly altered third chapter. I didn't bother doing anything about the temple because its not built yet so there is no need to mess with it. I'll bear what you told me in mind Amaunator when writing the nxt chapters.

Thanks Cattraknoff, its nice to have some other people posting here. Could you really be a modern god though, beliefs not as strong as it used to be, although it would be nice to measure your creature against a skyscraper.

And if you had an creature he would simply break the skyscrapers, and the people would jump out of the windows... Oh, the agony... OH, THE FUN!!!

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Here's Chapter 4 enjoy Chapter 5: Holy War? is next