Greetings fellow movie makers. Please read these simple instructions and you should obtain a satisfactory review.

1. Post a link and description of your movie.

2. My reviews are honest. Only post your movie if you want an honest rating.

3. Add the word "Cookies" somewhere in your post, which will confirm you've read these instructions and will not accuse me of sabotaging your work because I'm "just jealous."  

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For some reason Birdo clearly has the voice of a Japanese man in this trailer. It's like... eating a cake. You expect the cake to be delicious, but when you bite into it, it sounds like a Japanese man. See what I'm trying to say here?

I can't believe my eyes - the cookie monster is back!
Welcome back Mark - where have you been lurking all this time?

Please review One Last Breath (and i'll give you some cookies)



Press HERE for One Last Breath Part 1
Press HERE for One Last Breath Part 2

Studio: Sparky1512
Title: One Last Breath

Running Time: Pt1 - 20 mins 55 secs
                     Pt2 - 16 mins 47 secs

Genre: Noir Thriller
Vo’s/Subs – Full Voiceovers

Plot: 'Kicked out of a corrupt police force for refusing to be a part of it, Jack Stringers life is now in tatters. Unable to find work after a sullied reputation, his wife walked out on him and he has a drink problem. Seemingly at random, Jack is contacted by a mysterious stranger who claims to have the answers to his problems a way of exposing the corrupt police force and regaining his reputation. With nothing else to loose, Jack grabs the opportunity with both hands

Many thanks for you time

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Hey Sisch!  Since the forum changed format many months ago, my computer went bust. I took out the money to get it fixed, but was seduced by an Xbox360 instead. After that steamy affair I'm finally back. to see some old faces around.

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For some reason Birdo clearly has the voice of a Japanese man in this trailer. It's like... eating a cake. You expect the cake to be delicious, but when you bite into it, it sounds like a Japanese man. See what I'm trying to say here?

You could check out my action movie SCUM.

6 min 44 sec

Info: It revolves around a day in the life of Officer Darren Cole, who's been in charge of cleaning out all the criminals in a town from hell. Unfortunately, after 17 years on the job, Darren has thrown the law aside and has now started to go about his problem his own way. Now, no matter what, Darren is dead-set on cleaning out the scum.

The link is in my sig. (Cookies?)

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^ Check what Beck's up to now.

TMUnderground

COOKIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Changes at School 4: How Many More of These Are you Going to Endure?

http://movies.lionhead.com/movie/148937

The fourth in a series that will never die. Follow Michael, Sid, Al, and George in their never-ending journey through high school.

Starring:
Michael-SnakeEater42
Sid-SnakeEater42
Al-SnakeEater42
George-SnakeEater42
Claire-SnakeEater42
Diane-SnakeEater42
Allison-SnakeEater42
Beth-SnakeEater42
Joe-SnakeEater42
Josh-SnakeEater42
and
Rick-SnakeEater42

Music by:
Forever Falls (copyright free)
Cosmic Joke (copyright free)

and the other songs were off of Mort's Eyepod

This movie reached 2nd in comedy and 3rd overall, my best yet. YAY!!!
Enjoy the show. " src="/emoticons/emotion-1.gif">

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Need some voice acting? Go ahead and PM me, or email me, if I'm not busy I'll most likely help you

I only have one word to say to you, sir: "Cookies!".

Well, I've got a few words to say, actually. Here they are...

Kono Michi: Dark Eyes is a music video I made for the Newbfest Summer 2008 competition (the winners should be announced today). The song is "Dark Eyes" by Kono Michi - the song-writing project of the professional violinist, Michi Wiancko - an Orange County-raised Japanese-Polish lass who moved East to study at Juilliard and now lives in Brooklyn. Kono Michi is signed to the same label as my band (Scotland's Shark Batter Records). The song "Dark Eyes" was musically inspired by a piece by Spanish composer Manuel De Falla. I have Michi's permission to use this song.

Looking forward to your review. :-)

cheers
rogerSIMIAN

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TheRiott.com | TMU Forums | TMU Movies

If you will watch RIO DIABLO I will get Heddy Hooper to

send you some of her delicious chocolate chip cookies!

Rio Diablo is a rousing western in the grand old Hollywood tradition. Love, Betrail, and Revenge all arrive at Rio Diablo ranch in the form of Ruby Sanchez. Hope you enjoy the film.

MGM

RIO DIABLO:http://movies.lionhead.com/movie/149460

 

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COOKIES'n' CREAM

PimpTightStudios

Pimp Saga Episode 1

comedy

1154

Rated-R Strong language, violence, adult Situations.

Regarded as “Unique and Funny” among most reviewers. Pimp Saga stands tall and is not afraid to go against the grain. A Comedy about Manny Styles and his two best friends; and the crazy things that happen in their lives. This is an intro movie and tells about 90% of the back story.

 

http://movies.lionhead.com/movie/131317

 

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"I think pimp therefore I am."~Katt Williams

http://www.pimptightstudios.com

I have no ideas for a clever way to include cookies...



http://movies.lionhead.com/movie/150083

A man and woman meet at a bar and things take off...however, this is not your typical romance.

Romance

7 min 53 sec

I hope you enjoy, and I look forward to your honest review.

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The Alfred Hitchcock Competition
Bad Acquaintances

Hi Mark! to see you escaped the clutches of the Xbox!

Great, now I want some cookies.

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Sheriff Rooney 4
http://movies.lionhead.com/movie/149624

Cookies. The "sometime" food according to Seasame Street.

 

The Creepy Clown Visits - A Poem

http://movies.lionhead.com/movie/148719

A homicidal psychopathic clown tells the grim tales of his origin and latest crime in a dark and gritty children's rhyme.

Written, directed and voiced by Tie.

Music by Kevin MacLeod.

Length: 09:50

 

Thanx!

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"bye, Farewell and Amen TMO. Hello TMunderground."

Tie's TMU-Page
http://www.tmunderground.com/Tie

Need an voice actor? - Just send me a PM.

My first season I'm making.

Feel free to check it out when you have got a chance.

http://movies.lionhead.com/movie/150475

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DRAKE - SEASON 1 - MAKING YOUR WAY TO TMU

A slightly odd and random one, but probably worth watching anyway, if you've got time

(click here to view the movie)

Based on a true(ish) story

No cookies were harmed in the making of this movie.

Cheers

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Cookies are fine, but Poptarts are waaaay better. 

Introducing a film from Teh Poptart Kid

Starring:

Kyle Ronsky: Played by Teh Poptart Kid

Narrator: Played by Teh Poptart Kid

Music: Del's Psychotic strings music
6headedmonster's dark tube music
Alan400's music stopper
Loyd's Horror theme music
6headedmonster's dream cabinet music

Props: Eobaggs poptart Prop

Backdrop: Ozman's Purple clouds backdrop

==============================================

Poptart Mania!

Genre: Horror/Thriller/Comedy/Creature Feature

Length: 5:57

Link: http://movies.lionhead.com/movie/149007

==============================================

Enjoy! Thanks for watching, Cookie monster! 

TPK

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rogerSIMIAN:

"Turn To The Fart Side, Luke!"

I would also be greateful if you could review my latest movie, Day and Night.

http://www.movies.lionhead.com/movie/148504

based on true events...I think .

Please don't be put off, but unlike Fred, there are no cookies involved in the making of this movie .

Anyway cheers .

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SCUM - http://movies.lionhead.com/movie/150395

This movie starts with a slick intro sequence. I almost orgasmed when the camera panned to the side and our hero turned to face it whilst finishing his monologue. He goes on to mention how crappy his life is, and his tough tone emphasizes that he's seen too much of the negative side of humanity. Being in law enforcement can do that to people. My father is a prison guard and believes we should allow guns in the UK so we can wipe out all criminals. Such a cheery man...

Some of the dialogue didn't quite sound right. Like when he says "but enough of me talking." Sounds like he should be saying "but enough about me", or "but enough talk". Trying to invent new phrases Mr Shakespeare? Our hero goes on to show us the scum he has to deal with. A mugger steals a purse off a young lady whom reeks of defiance. Begone doer, I laugh in the face of your sharpened steel.

Darren (our hero) chases the mugger into a maze-like set. After some brief camera shots, they get into an exchange of words. Jeez the mugger sounds butch too! After the mugger attempts to get inside Darren's head (those psychology degrees are handed out like candy) and claims there's no difference between either of them, Darren says there is one difference - "you're dead." I'm sitting here in awe at the wit displayed by captain jackhole.

Our hero returns to find the woman crying like a lil' sissy girl. Evidently her strong woman act was a farce. He returns the purse, receiving a modest thank you in return. Sexual favours are out though. No love interest in the story huh? His misfortunes don't end there as some reject holds the subway carriage at gunpoint, but lord knows why. Then, in a dazzling display of manliness Darren knocks out the villain, carries him all the way back to the apartment on foot, drags him up a flight of stairs, puts him down onto the bed, waits for him to wake up, strangles him, and then throws him out a window! Jesus Christ, that's badass! I hereby award this guy the phallic shaft of supreme badassitude. He's going to be mighty annoyed once he realizes he'll need to pay for a new window. Suddenly an FBI agent bursts in and shouts "The president has been kidnapped by ninjas. Are you a bad enough dude to rescue the president?"

Actually I just made that last bit up, save it for Scum 2.

A completely pointless segment ensues where he shoots another criminal (who sounds as tough as nails of course). At least I think he was a criminal, we're not actually told why Darren is after this guy but who cares? He has tattoos, an obvious sign of guilt!

Finally Darren goes home (again) and dresses for bed. Must be chilly in there. He closes with some awkward line "these streets need me to clean out the scum."

The music fitted very well with the dark theme. Dialogue was a tad clumsy in places. Editing was also a bit iffy, as some scenes don't fit well together.

I suppose my main gripe with this was the ending. Talk about unsatisfying. I expected some moral to the story triggered by a simple incident like accidently killing an innocent, but all we got was "this town sucks, my life sucks, people suck." What am I supposed to take away from this experience? Couldn't he meet a love interest? See a criminal do something noble? Any progression from the beginning whatsoever? You might as well of just cut all the scenes out except for the intro and call it Life Sucks and Then You Die, it would convey the same message.

2 Stars

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For some reason Birdo clearly has the voice of a Japanese man in this trailer. It's like... eating a cake. You expect the cake to be delicious, but when you bite into it, it sounds like a Japanese man. See what I'm trying to say here?

Changes at School 4 - http://movies.lionhead.com/movie/148937

I'm not sure if this was supposed to be amusing or you didn't believe it fitted the romance category, but one thing's for sure, it has less laughs than a Christmas Cracker joke.

The movie opens in school (well duh) to an appropriate tune. But those first mistakes hit me like a series of Klingon uppercuts as you continued playing this music throughout the group's conversation. In fact, barely a scene goes by without some music in the background. I think I know why, it's to cover up the cringe-worthy dialogue. The characters aren't particularly memorable and will be lucky if I can even remember their names.

You know what was mildly funny? When the group pounced on George (or Sid, I don't know guys, I just don't know) for using the term "wicked" whilst nobody batted an eyelid at the extremely lame "whatchu talkin bout fool!"

Over 8 minutes is spent in some bar. They then go on into one boring discussion after another. I'm talkin' Everybody Loves Raymond boring here folks. Come on, get to the hawt chicks already! There are also scenes where one of the group does an action, and then it cuts to another scene which is exactly the same, except one of the other boys is doing the same action. I can understand it when they're talking and you've got limited room to work with, but using this for clicking a button on a mobile phone? It's editing like this which offers devastating evidence that there is no God, and if there is, he hates us.

The girls finally come round but unfortunately they're fully clothed. Cue two girls walking through the door, rinse and repeat. This was made with the Stunts and Effects expansion pack, there's no excuse for this unimaginative camera work. My pants deflate as I listen to their collective stereotypical voices. The boys gather their courage and ask if they would like a drink, bravely spending their 5 dollars and 52 cents hard earned pocket money. Sid gets the drinks and is approached by some [censored!]bag in a tight shirt. Who the hell is that?

Yes I did notice all the voices are done by you. It's commendable that you voiced 11 or so different characters in a single movie, many of which are unnecessary. You need other actors in there! If not to increase the variety of characters, then so you'll have more free time working on other aspects.

Red shirt 28 guy (look what you've reduced me too) tells Sid to be himself. I'm going to get back to that bit soon. Lets fast-forward. The guys engage the girls in painful conversation, a skank said Starwars was nerdy, and then I blacked out. I finally awoke 5 hours later to The Imperial March blaring away proudly on my alarm clock, checked out the TV, spotted Jar Jar Binks, and blacked out again.

The movie closes with the guys getting the girls, and red shirt 28 guy throwing out more advice. And you know what, that's actually a idea. That's what this entire movie should have been. Some sort of documentary for school kids on the pressures and difficulties of talking to that pretty girl surrounded by venomous harpies, with some tips thrown in. Maybe that's what it was supposed to originally be, but listening to all the life leaching dialogue just for a small nugget of worthwhile information didn't give me that impression.

2 Stars

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For some reason Birdo clearly has the voice of a Japanese man in this trailer. It's like... eating a cake. You expect the cake to be delicious, but when you bite into it, it sounds like a Japanese man. See what I'm trying to say here?

I love cookies!!!

http://movies.lionhead.com/movie/150090

This is a short monolouge drama about a man and his addiction to the poker game.

Thanks

 

-Piotrtheman

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COMING SOON!

If you like cookies, you'll love these movies

Miss World Massacre: http://movies.lionhead.com/movie/150007

Sheila Johnson is a Miss World Contestant
With no worries on her mind, until her fellow contestants start showing up dead.
Will Sheila figure out the identity of the killer or will she be the next victim?

Elenora Swinton Metal Festival http://movies.lionhead.com/movie/150008

Elenora Swinton has been dead for two years.
And her widowed husband is arranging a metal festival in her memory.
But Elenora is still not pleased, and she returns fom her grave.

Pool Party Massacre http://movies.lionhead.com/movie/150009

Lindsays parents are going away for the weekend.
And Lindsay is throwing a party, a pool party.
But an uninvited visitor is paying the party-goers a deadly visit.

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Three Slasher Movies You don't want to miss!

http://movies.lionhead.com/studio/VandrendeOrn

Hey Mark

Just so i know, did my movie not qualify for review?

cheers

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I've spent quite some time lurking round here lately, watching movies and eating cookies . Played the Game for quite some time, then got sucked into WoW. Now, I've broken that addiction, and am finally working on my first movie for release. It's a 'Star Trekkish' style series, (like we don;t have enough of THOSE around here ) and I would appreciate any and all reviews and suggestions.

It was made almost entirely with stock sets, costumes, and props, and is done to demonstrate my idead for the movie I am working on. This is only a part of the entire 1st episode, (the rests still being a concept in my head), and only basic editing (fades, some scene cutting/shrinking, etc) has been done. and includes the script concepts as subtitles in parenthesis. Voice Overs, Music, sound effects, and final editing still need to be done (But, need to get people to do the VOs first, and find the right music).

http://movies.lionhead.com/movie/150556

 

Thanks ahead of time for taking the time to look it over.

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"Religion without Science is Blind. Science without religion is blind." - Albert Einstein

As Gallager said: Sex is like a Chinese meal, it's not over til you BOTH get your COOKIES.

Movie: Writer's Block (romance)

http://movies.lionhead.com/movie/149929

Description:

Given an assignment, by his sometimes difficult boss, Roger has to write a screenplay in two weeks. The only problem: he has Writer's Block. Follow Roger as he tries several different, sometimes ridiculous, ways to break his block.
Will he finish in time? Will he get the girl? Find out in Writer's Block.
Contains some cursing and brief drug use, and some adult themes and situations, (added for comic affect, and germane to the plot.) Probably a strong PG-13.

And PLEASE, don't point out that 'nice_calves' has a microphone that sucks. Some day this studio will have enough virtual credits to buy a virtual microphone. Until then, please forgive.

Hope you like it, it isn't the typical action packed shoot-em-up. But I wrote it to break a little writer's block I was having.

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An Action-Packed CyberPunk Epic

It qualifies Sparky, I just don't have 38 minutes to spare, along with another hour or two for writing the review.

Pimp Saga Episode 1 - http://movies.lionhead.com/movie/131317

The voiceovers made me feel as if I was being violated without lubricant. As I lay convulsing in the corner screaming "MAKE IT STOP, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MAKE IT STOOOOOP!" I realized at several points that I'd rather be watching subtitles. Yes I saw your note saying nobody was willing to assist with the project, but that doesn't eclipse the memory which will be burned into my mind for all eternity.

The second problem is that I didn't find it funny. I chuckled once, but that's only because Manny's line "It doesn't matter!" inadvertently triggered a memory of The Rock asking various people their names, only to interrupt them by shouting "It doesn't matter what your name is!"

After the intro credits, it takes an ice age to move on to the next scene. The music was cool, but combined with the constant crying of the women my annoyance levels went through the roof. And what's more, it's as if Manny knows it! The guy almost appears to be intentionally taunting me by adding long pauses which would test the patience of a chess champion.

Flashback to school, and Manny is getting quacked at (literally) by the headmaster. This might have had more effect if the headmaster started out with a voice and eventually went into quackers mode. We're introduced to his friends/hoes, who then "run weed" in some border town. I feel like I've just missed a large portion of the story, they don't seem the type to commit crimes. Though I guess Manny being of African American origin is more than enough motivation eh?

Baby Cakes keeps guard with a friggin' rifle. Again I feel as if I've missed the plot. I was given no indication that Baby Cakes or the rest of the group are bad people who are willing to kill, and have training with firearms. Usually I'd just ignore it with this being a comedy an' all, but since you took the time to construct a plot, I'm gonna' take a sledgehammer to it.

Later the group get stopped by a cop who forces the girls to make hot squelchy love with him. Of course there are no inventive camera angles or sounds apart from a car creaking. What the cop should have done, is force Manny to make hot squelchy love with him. The git deserves it after what he's about to put me through.

Manny buys a brothel and does a standup comedy act. Surprisingly somebody was laughing and clapping, most likely a fan of masterpieces such as Epic Movie or Meet the Spartans. A maniac ends up choking one of the girls (hey, he's got the right idea!) to death? Manny's acting like he's going to unleash hell, and simply throws the guy out. That's it? Come to Mannys brothel, but don't kill the prostitutes or ye shall receive a stern slap on the wrist!

Luckily one of the girls runs that n00b over. It turns out the son of a Mafia boss (Manny didn't know until this point, and this information comes from nowhere). The boss tells his men to eliminate Manny and his crew. Luckily they happen to be the worst assassins ever. Manny being blown up and miraculously surviving is fine, but beating up one of the women in a subway and then just leaving without checking a pulse or shooting her for measure? Well I can't blame them too badly, it's scientific fact that a blow to a woman's sexual organ is supposedly fatal.

The woman gets up without a scratch (pink panties of regeneration +5, don't leave home without them) heading to the police station. She blackmails the chief into taking down the assassins. The cops drive around the street until they stumble upon the thugs randomly. Manny goes on holiday. After submitting my review, I frantically bash the close webpage icon, discarding this movie faster than a free AOL disc.

2 Stars

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For some reason Birdo clearly has the voice of a Japanese man in this trailer. It's like... eating a cake. You expect the cake to be delicious, but when you bite into it, it sounds like a Japanese man. See what I'm trying to say here?

Oh ok, cool. Didn't realsie there was a 'maxium length' stipulation but i get where you are coming from. How about taking a look at this short i released recently instead. You can still have cookies

**WARNING CONTAINS STRONG LANGUAGE AND ADULT THEMES**

Welcome to HATED - a short monologue by me (Sparky) with music composed by Norrie

Hated is a socially focused piece delivered by the all so elequant 'Skid' who, as you will see, has his own views on the subject.

Genre - Drama
Length - 4:18

Written and Directed by Sparky1512

Music by Norrie

VO's by Sparky1512

Poster by Sparky1512

Keep up the work - i love reading your reviews - thorough and honest.

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