in
Welcome to Lionhead Community Sign in to Windows Live ID | Help

Underneath It All.... There It Lay

Last post 07-13-2009, 17:50 by moonfever. 9 replies.
Sort Posts: Previous Next
  •  07-08-2009, 16:34 3372292

    Underneath It All.... There It Lay

    Somewhere underneath it all, laid something. It wasn’t distinct, nor in the common view but my…my… if you had seen her that night, I promise you you’d of done the exact same as I. To the blind bandit, the ignorant fop, the rusty marksman, to thee actual common man…. All of them could not see the truth all they saw were the clear flaws.

    These flaws which hid something; the chapped lips with her dry tongue greeting them often were accompanied by smoke upon her breathe, the bloodshot eyes crimson with heartache, the skin dirty maddened with aged scars. The blonde hair scruffy recklessly cut into split ends & rough braids, the ears cringing, her frame short and embroidered with a sure poise which led her blades to swing so freely, so gracefully.

    Her chest mail green and fitting, and not at all welcoming anyone’s view, the mail warded folk off. The saggy breeches ashen with a deathly blue, her hands…. Her hands… stained with callus. Her stance menacing like a lone wolf, her blades being her border of contact.

    These flaws which hid a tasteful beauty.

    But somewhere underneath it all, laid a woman, and what a woman at that….

    Someone’s rugged thorn..... my… beautiful Rose.

    ________

    Hermit




  •  07-10-2009, 18:24 3373121 in reply to 3372292

    Re: Underneath It All.... There It Lay

    I take it no one likes this then. Sad [:(] Err anyway did just write this as a in the moment one, but futher thought on it gave me more ideas and so this will be used in the future by me. Up [:up:]

    Hermit




  •  07-10-2009, 21:23 3373153 in reply to 3373121

    • Faerie_child is not online. Last active: 24 Nov 2009, 0:59 Faerie_child
      The nightwalker who comes at dawn and brings the new day.
    • Not Ranked
    • Joined on 11-12-2008
    • Newcastle, NSW Australia
    • Senior Member
    • old karma : 0

    Re: Underneath It All.... There It Lay

    Only just read it. Its great. Smily [:)]Who is the woman?
    Flown down by ravens and stolen by the dawn's first rays, night mares stalk the night. Through dusty windows and cracked glass, they watch the weary rest till mornings rise.
  •  07-11-2009, 13:38 3373328 in reply to 3373153

    Re: Underneath It All.... There It Lay

    My sorceress heroine Ember, however she isn’t this ugly. Stick out tongue [:P] It’s rather complicated how the story goes, had stopped writing the Ember story but will continue now that I have a clear idea of the intro.

    Edit: Countdown rated this 2 stars. WTF [:wtf:] Now thats not nice. Disappointed [:isappoin] Bored [:bored:] Cry [:cry:]

    Hermit




  •  07-11-2009, 14:59 3373342 in reply to 3373328

    Re: Underneath It All.... There It Lay

    I like it. I am looking forward to the main story
  •  07-11-2009, 18:55 3373408 in reply to 3373328

    Re: Underneath It All.... There It Lay

    Orakaius:

    Countdown rated this 2 stars.

    It's nothing personal, it's just how I feel about this story at the present time. Perhaps that will change? perhaps not...


    1 year on the forums and counting! Get it? Counting? Oh never mind...
  •  07-12-2009, 17:39 3373703 in reply to 3373408

    Re: Underneath It All.... There It Lay

    Fair enough coundowntoxmas Smily [:)] Everyone else, thanks for reading. Big Smile [:D]

    This is one of my favs. ^^ [^^]

    Hermit




  •  07-13-2009, 2:02 3373770 in reply to 3373703

    • Faerie_child is not online. Last active: 24 Nov 2009, 0:59 Faerie_child
      The nightwalker who comes at dawn and brings the new day.
    • Not Ranked
    • Joined on 11-12-2008
    • Newcastle, NSW Australia
    • Senior Member
    • old karma : 0

    Re: Underneath It All.... There It Lay

    Its a short piece. Are you going develop on it further or it this its final version?


    Flown down by ravens and stolen by the dawn's first rays, night mares stalk the night. Through dusty windows and cracked glass, they watch the weary rest till mornings rise.
  •  07-13-2009, 4:28 3373810 in reply to 3373770

    Re: Underneath It All.... There It Lay

    It will be used within another story. Smily [:)] quite a large one at that.It revolves around a group of priests remembering a forgotten tale about a tragic tale.

     

    Hermit




  •  07-13-2009, 17:50 3373964 in reply to 3373810

    Re: Underneath It All.... There It Lay

    Orakaius:

    It will be used within another story. Smily [:)] quite a large one at that.It revolves around a group of priests remembering a forgotten tale about a tragic tale.

     

    Hermit

    I find it beautiful and touching. I  really enjoyed it. Thanks ! ^^ [^^]


View as RSS news feed in XML