Just got back from a week away in Turkey with the family. Now, this thread will only ring true if you've ever been on some sort of package holiday to some sort of touristy island/country. But if there's one thing I've come to hate, nay, loathe, is the incessant pestering that spews forth from the gobs of the locals.
The trick is not to make any eye contact whatsoever, but every so often they grab your attention, be it through calling you Scottish when you're really from Yorkshire and forcing you to correct them, or physically blocking the path with their bodies. Walking through the touristy places can be a veritable pain in the veritable arse.
Strings of restaurants are the worst, where some youngish slightly handsome 'waiter' will invite you from the streets into their restaurant to taste the Best Fish in the Entirety of Antalyia or The Greatest Pizza on the Face of the Planet. Of course, they only do three kinds of pizza, (what was it you called it again English? ... Maarr...marrr...) margherita, vegetarian and 'mixed' (which we thought was 'meats' to our disappointment).

So, those of you who are suckers for the sun, what are your tactics for avoiding these Employed Beggars in the streets of the local town to your sunny seaside resort?

We decided to create our own language, which we spoke frantically to each other in an effort to confuse and bedazzle them. Engleesh? Deutchlander? Espanyola!? Parle vouz francais!!??! Yep, none of them mate.
This unfortunately backfired on us on one occasion when the waiter followed us saying "Sheep shaggers, sheep shaggers, sheep shaggers!" and when my dear father turned round to say "You bloody dago twat!" he'd pinned us down, figuratively speaking. "Aha! You wouldn't have responded if you couldn't understand Engleeesh!"


I suppose the best advice is Don't Go to Bloody Tourist Traps, and you're right. It's just what the old parents want, and I'm back in England for a while, so I figured I'd tag along. In other news, the all inclusive whiskey was very .

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The only thing worse than beating a dead horse is betting on one.

Wow you've bought back a lot of memories from my trip to turkey. Couldn't walk down the street without of being practically dragged in to a restaurant. We just tended to pretend one of us started feeling really sick and went to throw up and then they'd go try drag some other family or group in.

Fortunately we found a really nice restaurant nearby that did great food and got to know the people really well. Sure they can be complete asses over there but there's some nice people. One even offered us 3 camels in exchange for my sister. Great offer.

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PM me if you want an invite to lockerz!

I like to give them vegemite! shuts their yapping straight away!

I personally don't understand it, I love the stuff (Aussies ftw) but other people just can't seem to stomach it!

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1 year on the forums and counting! Get it? Counting? Oh never mind...

I don't see the big deal about Vegemite. It's just like Marmite, same salty crap. I remember the first time I went to Australia and they brought out the Vegemite and toast as if it was some sort of ordeal they had to put foreigners through. I was fine with it. I don't particularly like it, but I could eat it.

I offered them blood pudding, and I think I won the International Aussie/British Culinary Challenge. I even had jellied eels as a wild card.

But we were very lucky with our hotel Sim. We had an all inclusive buffet, which had better food than many restaurants I've been to, and for one night at a time you could try one of their 'posher' restaurants (They were basically cleverly disguised Ikea decorations with slightly better food than the buffet) for free (8 Euros a head after the first go).
So we only went into the nearby city once. And it was a hellish enough experience to make a thread about it.

That and the temple of Dionysus that had graffiti all over it. They wouldn't have that in England I tell thee!

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The only thing worse than beating a dead horse is betting on one.

A little over a year ago my family went to Cuba.  It sounds like the beggars in Turkey are a step beyond the beggars in Cuba, I don't remember anyone insulting us to get our attention.  Anyway, the travel agent advised us to take several bags of hard candy with us, Werther's Original to be specific.  According to her, handing out candy was the best way to get the beggars to leave you alone without buying whatever they're selling or handing out money.  We were a little skeptical about this but packed candy in our suitcases.

As soon as you went into the cities/towns you were swarmed with beggars.  We decided to break out the candy, it was very successful.  For some reason when you held up the candy their eyes would light up and they seemed to forget about money.  They usually would take it and leave you alone.

I doubt this trick would work on adults anywhere else, avoiding tourist traps is the best advice I have heard.

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Are you an ODST (fanboy)?

Oh lawd, tourist traps.

Now, being freakishly tall and freakishly dreadlocked, I attract a lot of attention, so I'm used to random strangers approaching me.

However, when I was in Thailand, especially Bangkok, every such stranger that approached me seemed to have some hidden, financial agenda. I mean, there are the tuk-tuk drivers who are pretty up-front in their attempts to rip you off, which is fair. But once in a while, someone would start a conversation like one I've had a million times before ("Wow, you're tall! How tall are you?"), which was fine. But eventually, the conversation would trail into some subversive advertisement. We just absolutely, positively had to use THIS tuk-tuk, information office etc.

All this made me a bit paranoid when interacting with Thais. I'd be on guard for them trying to push something on me, which I think is really sad.

Tourist guides, tourist bus drivers... it's like they need you, but also hate you.

Getting off the tourist trail though, everything is fine and dandy.

Being a fat bearded man who scowls alot, I often do not have problems with people asking me to go into their restaurant or marry their daughter.

However, my technique for getting through crowds of people, which I think is equally as valuable, is often to shout things very quickly and push forward. If it's quiet, a simple "MAKE WAY FOR THE KING" will do.

Also, LT, how tall are you?

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I only wrote this because I hate you.

A bit over 2 meters. 205 or something. That would be about 6'8" in crazy-units I think.

Lord_Terrible:

in crazy-units I think.

lol so true (and I have to think in terms of them (insert matneee's facepalm emoticon here))

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satansmunchkin:

hey man, just wanted to let you know going to dinner with your wife and plan on boning her until she screams, you'll then get the sloppy seconds

Lord_Terrible:

A bit over 2 meters. 205 or something. That would be about 6'8" in crazy-units I think.

Yes, that is quite tall. I'm surprised you get bothered so much - I would have thought there's a fair chance many of them could mistake you for a tree what with the height and dreads and all. Although with all the moving about I suppose it would have to be a triffid, but that could work in your favour all things considered.

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Lord_Terrible:

A bit over 2 meters. 205 or something. That would be about 6'8" in crazy-units I think.

You're a very large man.

Do you have large hands too?

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I only wrote this because I hate you.

Pretty big yeah... You know what, I will measure that shit for you.

Fake edit: My palms are around 8½ inches long, measured from the tip of the middle finger to the line at the wrist.

My feet are, interestingly, around 1 foot long.

In general, I'm pretty much about 15-20% bigger than average

Regarding trees, I am usually likened to a palm tree

God, you must get sick of people asking you to "Reach up there and grab that, if you can"

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I only wrote this because I hate you.

That never really bothered me too much.

With great height... comes great responsibility.

Now, would you like to buy these fine leather jackets? Special price for tall people.

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The only thing worse than beating a dead horse is betting on one.